Trent just googled Blue Waffle.

Guess who's back? That's right, my reviews! Today I'll be reviewing Basic Straining written by Jennifer Pertsch herself (what kind of last name is that? Who ends a word with "sch"? I googled it and I found the folliwng words: borsch, flysch, hamantasch, kaffeeklatsch, kirsch, kitsch, klatsch, luftmensch, mensch, putsch). Apparently a kaffeeklatsch is "an informal social gathering at which coffee is served." Anyway, this is the third episode I'll be reviewing that was written by Jen, and so far I haven't been impressed. Not So Happy Campers and The Sucky Outdoors were... meh. Will Basic Straining be any better? Let's find out!

I can't believe that they showed Bunny getting eaten by a snake in the recap. It made me sad.

Why is Chef using a megaphone? He's speaking to like 10 people next to him.

"You will address me as Master Chief!"

Wow, someone's got an ego.

Where did Chris come from?

How does Chef not notice that Geoff IS USING A FREAKING FISHING ROD.

What is Lindsay going to do during the night challenge? Just sorta chill and watch everyone else suffer? Sounds likes a good deal.

You'd think Courtney's speech to Duncan would foreshadow Ducnan's bunny thing being revealed. That would've been a nice subplot. But nooo of course not, we just forget about it for the rest of the season. On the other hand, I guess it's nice to see character development that doesn't directly apply to the competition. It gives the show a sense of realism.

Why is Harold still writing? YOU HAD THREE HOURS TO WRITE THREE HUNDRED WORDS. THAT CAN BE DONE IN LESS THAN 30 MINUTES, MAYBE EVEN 15. I guess he was putting his hear and soul into the letter, he must really love Chef.

"You just bought yourself 20 more push-ups!"

For what? Maybe he was being sarcastic to LeShawna, but really. It's something I never knew about the series.

"He's rude, he's rebellious, and he's totally annoying! ... I'm going to go check on him."

Ahh, women.

"Maybe I DO follow the rules!"


How does Chris and Chef's conversation go from Vietnam to Chris' stubble in 2 seconds?

"And how about those lame war stories?"


Courtney's on drugs.

Does anyone like seeing the contestants vomit? After everything that happened in the Redonculous Race, I thought this would be a good time to bring it up. Does ANYBODY find vomit in this show amusing? It's just gross, especially in TDI. Something else I've noticed, barf changed over the seasons. In this season there's like carrot chunks in it, but in RR it's just plain green. And why do the contestants look like they're holding their breath when they're about to spew? Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's not how throw-up works. (Have you ever noticed how many synonyms there are for "vomit"?) I haven't threw-up since I was a baby so that may explain my lack of knowledge of the subject. (So I don't eat poisoned food. Kill me, right?) Oh God, the Brunch of Disgustingness review is coming up...

"So the princess has a dark side!"

More like the princess has a BARF side.

"But it's like, once I did something bad, it was so much fun I just wanted MORE!"

So Courtney and Duncan kiss. ALL RIGHT HERE WE GO. Harold is one of my favorite characters in the series. Plus, I've always been a kind of person who promotes moral values. So to see an ethical  person like Courtney kiss a heartless soul like Duncan, who is my favorite character's main antagonist, yeah, I'm going to get a little annoyed. In short, I never liked Courtney and Duncan, nor do really like Duncan and Gwen. I just really don't like Duncan. When I was 10 years old and the TDA finale was about to air (woah, where did time go), I remember you could vote on Cartoon Network who you wanted to win. I would vote for Beth, refresh the page. Beth, refresh. Beth, refresh. I just don't see why anyone likes Duncan. As my review series progresses I'll be sure to tell you more about my opinion on him. But this is my introduction to my Duncan hatred.

How is Heather still in this? Didn't she get tied up during the obstacle course challenge?

"I expected more of you soldier."

So did I, Chef. So. Did. I.

Geoff's hat manages to stay on this whole time. Well then.

That ancient form of torture thing actually looks painful when I really think about it.

"And you can't come back ... EVER ... (dramatic music plays in the background)"

I love it how Harold looks so unknowing about the elimination. You know, he must get used to this, since he's been in the bottom two 3 TIMES AT THIS POINT.

When Duncan says, "Aww man, this stinks", the American censors make it sound wierd. Same thing when they replaced Harold's "crap" with "gosh". I never liked the word "crap". People hate the word moist, but I never liked crap. It does not flow off the tounge, it sounds like something's cracking, it's just not a good word.


Good riddance.

I hated the skull thing just as much as the kiss.

The ending makes it look like Harold got away with murder.

So this episode was one of my least favorites, just because I hate Duncan and Courtney. Unfortunatly, that's what the whole episode was based around, so it's hard to make a full analysis. Hmm... what can I talk about... How about Bridgette? We haven't mentioned her in this review... that's something... Yeah... the only ones who really did stuff in this episode was Duncan, Courtney, Geoff, Gwen, and Harold. When there's only 10 contestants left, it shouldn't be that hard to give everyone a few lines. But LeShawna, Bridgette and Heather only got one line. Lindsay and Owen got a few, but they were useless. DJ and Trent didn't have any. I know that these kinds of episodes are supposed to be about a certain group of contestants, but I still wish we got another subplot. Having one subplot can really be risky, since that subplot could be very much hated, and since that's the only thing that happened in the episode, nobody will like the episode. I can't give it too much hate though, despite how much I don't like the subplot idea, it was still very will written. It had a previous episode build-up, the conflict progressed, it had it's climax, and it was resolved in an appropriate way (what I mean by appropriate is that it ended in a way that makes sense. It didn't end with COURTNEY TURNING INTO A MONSTER LIKE DAKOTA. Sometimes it's hard to believe that these two seasons are part of the same show.

I may get a lot of hate for this review, because a lot of people like this episode, so I'll negotiate and give it 3 out of 5 Sugars.

My favorite character in this episode was Gwen because idk no one did anything good in this episode and she won so I guess that's worth something

My least favorite character in this episode was Duncan because of what he did to Courtney. A sweet girl turned bad all because of him.

Sugar climbing
Sugar climbing
Sugar climbing