Today I'm reviewing the Big Sleep. Why? Because I feel like it. (That was a bad sentence, I shouldn't have started it with the word "becuase", or any other conjuction for that matter.)

"It's 7 in the morning! Do I look like a farmer to you?"

I can't tell if the writers made LeShawna say this as a joke, or if they wrote in sincerity.

Why does Cody even bother trying to get Eva's MP3? Does he think that he can pull it out of her ears and she won't even notice?

I just realized that Cody is the closest contestant to having regular teeth.

"Hi Chris! You're looking really buff in those shorts!"

First of all, he wears those shorts every day. (Should it be "every day" or "everyday"? I have no idea.) Second of all, why are you trying to flirt with a 30-year old?

Does Tyler have scoliosis or something?

The confessional camera is WAY too zoomed in on Courney.

Yeah, Tyler has scoliosis.

The confessional camera is too zoomed in on Heather now.

Did Heather even realize that she was wakling in a river before she saw Owen?

"What's your excuse? You skinny, annoying, ooh, I'm too tired for insults!"

LeShawna is love, LeShawna is life.

Gwen looks hungover in the dining hall.

"Ohhh, we made it!"

LeShawna is the best character ever.

"I think I'm having heart palpitations!"

Shut up Harold, Noah is DYING.

Why do only 3 people notice that Noah's heart stopped breathing? Is Owen qualified to give cardiopulmonary resuscitation?

In the confessional, Gwen says she's been in camp for a week. But Courtney says she's been here for one day. Okay then.

How come in TDI contestants lay down on the floor whenever they feel like it?

Eva is humping DJ. Oh, and LeShawna's dead.

It's been 12 hours but it's still bright out.

Oh hey, Izzy's in this episode.

Gwen keeps hogging the confessional.

Why does everyone have bags under their eyes? It's only been 12 hours.

Lindsay starts yelling that she's going to the final three. How does nobody hear this?

"Speaking of alliances, do you know who I think is really cute?"

Lindsay darling, that has nothing to do with alliances.

Beth is so ugly this season.

Now the confessional camera is zoomed in on Lindsay.

"I'm going to the bathroom."

Did you really have to announce that, Eva?

Lindsay has a big clevage.

Why is Chris standing extremely still?

It's been 24 hours since the awake-a-thon began, and now it's dark. That's wierd.

Oh hey, Izzy's in this episode.

Chef makes his first transgendered appearence.

What is in Chef's pixie dust? Valium?

Trent has a wierd shirt.

When did Owen have a chance to strip?

Katie and Sadie snore way too loudly.

"I think I'm so tired, that I'm not tired anymore!"

I hear you on that one, Gwen.

When Gwen and Trent look at constellations, it reminds me about how much constellations annoy me. Seriously, how do stars look like shapes?

The contestants have been awake for 100 hours. How are they not dead after not sleeping for FOUR DAYS.

Justin's makeup gives me nightmares.

Hey, Chris moved for the first time in half a week.

Was it really necessary to show Katie and Sadie waking up?

Why were Noah and Cody cuddling in the first place?

"Gotta hook me up man! I'll even eat the grinds! Anything!"

Gwen needs rehab.

"The beaver has a "real" fine hat!"

Cartoon Network edits just don't make sense.

Owen is getting his butt slapped by a beaver. Okay.

Canada was in the War of 1812?


That's one of my favorite lines of the season.

Does Chris really need a memo to tell him that Duncan is asleep?

Eva's on her period.

Oh hey, Bridgette's in this episode.

Nice Eva is scary.

Eva has bigger breasts than I remembered.

Duncan can rock the unibrow.

Why is Harold in the final two? I guess it doesn't matter, Eva's elimination was obvious.

Courtney, Heather, move the camera!

Justin is stalking the Bass.

Eva is talking to herself in the Boat of Losers. Oh well.

Izzy did literally nothing this episode.

My favorite character in this episode would have to be LeShawna, becuase of her lusciousness. Eww, that just reminded me of Jason Derulo for whatever reason.

My least favorite character in this episode is Beth, because of her ugliness.

My major problem with this episode is the lack of continuity. (is it pronounced countinue-ity or cont-in-ew-ity?) Another problem is the lack of, well everything. There wasn't much action, and the challenge was boring. I literally spent 20 minutes watching animated teenagers yawning. I also wish that there would be more contestants talking in this episode. Like I said, Izzy and Bridgette appeared like twice. However, this episode was the start of the Heather alliance, the start of Gwen and Trent, and the start of Duncan and Harold.

This episode gets 2 Sugars out of 5. I would give it 1.5, but you can't split a Sugar in half without a warrent.

Totally barfable
Totally barfable

I know I sound depressed in this review, but I'm doing it at night (that's what she said).

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