Hey guys. So CoGreen2.0 has given me permisson to pick up his old blog post series, Total Drama Rap Battles. I will not make these battles on a specific airdate like the old ones, but I will post them more than once each month. Probably once a week if I have the time. The very first TDRB is located here, here, which is a battle between Zeke and Noah. So without further ado, here is a "Total Drama All-Star" battle for ya, the host of the show Chris McLean versus the sidekick and chef of the show, Chef Hatchet!



You really wanna go against me, Chef? Do you, huh?

'Cause without me, this whole show wouldn't have any drama

Who's the one who produces, the one who writes? Gives our campers tons of frights?

The one who won't let them say goodnight because I wake them up at early light!

While you just sit back and read teen diaries and eat honey buns

I'm the one with the slick hair, is rich, and such

So your career is just a plane crash like the book you're named after

And here's a gas mask, go clean out our rafters!


Nag, nag, nag, Chris that's all you ever do!

Well, didn't you know that maybe co-hosts can have feelings too?

I'm also part of the drama in this show, serving those freak-heads guts and raw dough!

Do you cook for them? I don't think so! And if a contestant gets hurt, down you'll go!

Just face it Christopher, you wig-wearing freak

I'll be hosting the episode on the very next week

You're just a famous wannabe freak-show, that's the case

And now the American airings have to censor your face!


Cooking? What? This isn't Total Drama Oven!

You're just a Frankenstein-looking weirdo who needs some lovin'

Who cares if I'm bald? You think I care?

At least on my top of my head, a hairpiece I wear!

I thought we were friends Chef, but now I guess we're not

'Cause wanting that million dollars is what you sought

So you went and made some illegal alliances behind my back

Some real priority is what you lack!

And this show is mine, so I won't quit!

This very show would be nothing if I did!


Chris, what do you take me for? Some kind of dummy?

If  you slayed food over a hot stove all day, your life wouldn't be funny

You don't have time to hang out, you don't have time to party

And if you hate me for saying that, then I'm terribly sorry

So all you really do is fly around on your wings

And tell those fruit-cakes that they have to sing

And you ain't the owner of Mt. Chrismore, you know you're just a renter

The only role you should have is running the Arts'n Crap Center!

I fly the plane, I cook the food!

What do you do? Nothing, you buffoon!

So go float away from home with a coconut and a raft made of logs

The only reason you're still the host is because you're an attention hog!


Well you know what Chef, I already said I'm not quitting

And this battle's been already won without me spitting

So since I'm not doing that and you're a big, fat liar

I'm sorry Chef Hatchet, but you're...FIRED!

(crowd gasps)



Vote for who you think has won. If you think Chris won, then Chef will be stay fired until a future episode. If you think Chef has won, then Chris will consider rehiring him. Vote now in the comments below!


A lot of viewers have been complaining that my "rhyme scheme" is good. Well, I just made this battle as an example of what I will make in the future. If I have time, I will make another one tonight, and possibly like 100 (just exaggerating) everyday. So if I'm bored with nothing to do, then I'll post more than one battle everyday. With better rhymes.

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.