CHRIS: Last time on Total Drama Pahkitew's Revenge:

The teams were bond to a fashion show challenge with three main parts: everyday wear, nightwear, and swimwear. The Dragons got on a rocky start when they were couldn't decide who was a better designer, Brick or Anne Maria. The Unicorns had trouble with deciding on a model.

When the fashion show came, Topher managed to score major points for his team and got the highest score out of all time. But Anne Maria's swimsuit was HORRID and Brick's army pajamas couldn't beat the leopard bikini designed by Gwen and Zoey and Mike's and Harold's pajamas.

In other words, the Unicorns got their third win this season. Despite Brick being the main target with his alarm clock and losing the challenge for his team, Anne Maria, with the lowest score with her swimsuit, was sent packing.

We have seventeen contestants remain in this game. Tonight, one of them will be cut out of service. Who's going to get the dishonorable discharge? Find out right now on Total! Drama! Pahkitew's Revenge!

Intro Song

Both teams slept soundly. When the time was 6:00 AM, military trumpets sounded, waking everyone up.

CHEF: Attention maggots! I want you at the meeting zone at 0600 hours! That means now, soldiers, NOW!

Chef was in his military outfit when the teams arrived still tired and hungry for breakfast.

GWEN: Where's Chris?

CHEF: Chris had important matters to attend to and he won't be back until further notice. In the mean time, you suckers are stuck with me!


GWEN: The Chef challenges are the hardest. Those who are already voted out have it lucky. They don't have to deal with a Chef challenge.


Still in Confessional

JO: The Chef challenges provides each team who is fit to continue and who is fit to leave. We already lost four suckers and I wouldn't mind sacking of either Dave first. But all that depends on whether or not Zoey agrees to an alliance first.


The contestants were in front of a large obstacle coure. From the starting point, it includes monkey bars, tires, a rope swing, a verticle climb over the wall, a barbed wire crawl, and a fifty meter dash back to the start.

SCOTT: What is this for?

CHEF: This here will be to separate the strong from the junk. One team at a time will run this course until four contestants from each team remain. The eight contestants who stuck it in this challenge will move on to the second part.

SHAWN: What about the rest of us.

CHEF: Dismissed.


SHAWN: Yeah... I have no clue what he meant.


JASMINE: Can you be a bit more specific?

CHEF: Boathouse. Eating chum. No blankets or pillows. Just the clothes on your back.

DAKOTA: For how long?

CHEF: Until the winning team is declared.


JO: Wow. Chef isn't playing around. Who knows how long this challenge would take! But it will give me the the opportunity to weed out the weakest players on the team.


The Dragons, because they have the most contestants out of both teams, was to go first on the course. Chef ordered the team to run and they started to run the course. Topher was the first one on the monkey bars. He made it halfway before he fell.

CHEF: Congratulations, Private Topher. You became the first person to enter the boathouse.

TOPHER: But I fell!

CHEF: In war, if you fall, it could mean your life.

Instead of arguing, Topher shoved his hands in his pockets and walked off towards the boathouse.


TOPHER: This is just too great! Not only will I be deemed as the weakest one on the team, but I can't have my number one source of staying in this game with me! There needs to be a person who nobody on the team would mind voting for. But who?


Owen was the last Dragon to reach the monkey bars. As soon as he swung on the first bar, it broke.

OWEN: Oh, come on!

CHEF: Owen. Make your way to the boathouse. Now.

OWEN: (saluting) Sir! Yes! Sir!

Owen jogged towards the boathouse. Meanwhile, the other Dragons did the course a few more times before two more fell off. LeShawna fell at the wall climb and Dakota tripped on the wires.

Back at the boathouse, Topher sat down with the back on the wall, plotting. Owen came in.

TOPHER: Owen! You're a sight for sore eyes. Which is perfect!

OWEN: I know! Wait. What am I perfect for?

TOPHER: Nevermind that. So tell me, how is everybody else?

OWEN: Beats me. I broke the monkey bars. (Owen showed Topher the broken bar he had in his hand.) It's crazy, am I right?

TOPHER: Totally crazy.


TOPHER: Here I was, with my back against the wall, when Owen walked in! I can easily get Samey's vote which would lead to Jasmine's and Shawn's vote. Now all I need is for one more vote for it to work out well. And if I'm that good, I'll think I'll make the only vote not for Owen Owen's.


Back at the obstacle course, the remaining five Dragons raced and avoided not to fall. Shawn easily ran through the course with Jasmine on his tail. Samey, who was behind the pact, made it to the monkey bars for her fifth time. Shawn, who was on the bars for the seventh time, was right behind her. Samey soon stopped in the middle.

SHAWN: You okay, Samey?

SAMEY: I feel like I'm about to fall off.

SHAWN: Hold on. Pretend you're fifty feet up in the air with a horde of zoms right below you. Swing, Samey, swing!

Samey tried to swing to the next bar, but her arms became tired. She lost her grip and fell in the mud.

SHAWN: Or, fall into the mud. That works, too. Hey, no hard feelings!

Chef blew his whistle.

CHEF: Samey! Get your butt over to the boathouse, pronto! Rest of you, get on the bench. Unicorns, your turn for the course is up!


SAMEY: I felt like I did pretty good. I mean, I am not the strongest, but at least I can spend some time with Topher! (she shrieked),


The Dragons and Unicorns swapped places.The Unicorns soon started running as soon as Chef gave the word. Harold was the first Unicorn to reach the monkey bars.

HAROLD: Time to show off my skills!

Harold jumped for the first available rung, which was the second. He then swung himself to the final rung but fell short and landed face first into the mud.

HAROLD: (gagging up mud) Dang it!

Dave looked ahead and saw Harold covered in the mud.


DAVE: Its no big deal. Mud is use at beauty salons, so its not like I have to be worried about getting dirty or anything.


Dave reached the monkey bars after Zoey had just finished. He made it close to finishing before losing his grip and falling on his back into the mud.


CHEF: Private Dave, boathouse.

Mike and Zoey, trailing behind the pack, finally reached the vertical climbing wall. Zoey made it half-way before she sneezed on the rope made of dog hair.

ZOEY: Ouch.

MIKE: Zoey! Are you okay?

ZOEY: Yeah, I- ow. I'll see you later.


ZOEY: I don't what type of rope the military uses, but I bet that the ropes aren't made from dog hair.


The remaining five unicorns raced the course a few more times. Eventually, Mike lost his grip on the rope swing, sending him to the boat house.

CHEF: Mike, boathouse. Rest of you, I will see you all tonight for round two.

Mike enters the boathouse. Everyone but Topher and Samey was there giving Owen their chum. Owen gobbled all of it up.

OWEN: Oh, that hit the spot! (burps)

MIKE: Uh, where's Topher and Samey?

DAKOTA: Chef only lets two of us leave for a restroom break.

LESHAWNA: And let me tell you, something, Mike. The roof is gone and I believe its supposed to rain hard tonight.

MIKE: What makes you say that.

LESHAWNA: My elbow always acts funny when it rains. It never missed one storm in my life. We better hope somebody comes back with something or we are going to get rained on hard.

On their way back from the bathrooms, Tophar and Samey flirted with one another.

TOPHER: I'm serious. Between you and you're sister, you will always be my number one.

SAMEY: Topher! I-

TOPHER: Can't speak? I know. Listen, I'm afraid that there is a plot to get me out of the game.

SAMEY: What?

TOPHER: Yeah. A plot! Can you believe that! Anyways, I was hoping you can help me with that. I am thinking that one of those out to get me is Owen.

SAMEY: Owen?

TOPHER: I'm not sure. I do know that he isn't the leader. But in order to see people's reactions, I need him gone. That way, I know who is against me.

SAMEY: So, what can I do?

TOPHER: You are close with Jasmine and Shawn. Therefore I need you to convince them to vote with me and Owen.

SAMEY: But you need at least five for you to stay in the game! How are you going to-

TOPHER: Leave that to me, Sammy.

Topher leaned over and kissed Samey on the check. Samey covered the cheek with her hand as Topher walked away.


SAMEY: Did you see that? Topher called me "Sammy" instead of "Samey!" And he kissed me! This is starting to be the best season of Total Drama since the World Tour!


Still in Confessional

TOPHER: Samey is like my aunt's dog. She loves all the attention I give her and a little flattery and name calling would keep her closer. A little kiss is nothing. I am holding the leash on Samey. And when I don't want the dog anymore, I let the leash go.


Later that evening, it started to downpour. Those in the boathouse huddled together to stay warm. But over at the meeting area, Chef has a surprise for the remaining eight contestants still in the challenge.

CHEF: A part of battle is that it can last all night.

GWEN: Didn't we already do leechball?

CHEF: I wasn't done talking.

GWEN: Well, sorry.

CHEF: And in order for you guys to stay awake, we will do the Awake-a-thon challenge!

SKY: You can't be serious!

CHEF: Oh, I am. And if I see one eye closed more than two seconds, you are in the boathouse. As for Shawn, if you manage to be sleeping with your eyes closed, you are out. Last two members from each team will compete in the final part of the challenge.

SHAWN: Oh, come on! Can you say that without singling me out!

JASMINE: Psst. You're the only one that sleeps with both eyes open.


Hours in the rain passed away. Everyone tried so hard to keep their eyes open. Morning came and the rain stopped.

JO: Finally!

Scott tries hard to keep his eyes open and soon falls to the ground sleeping. Chef came over and kicked Scott awake.

SCOTT: Paps? Is that you?

CHEF: Boathouse, Sleeping Ugly.

Scott left to go to the boathouse. The challenge went on for a few more hours. Eventually, Gwen gets up and walks to the boathouse.

GWEN: I'm out. See you guys later.

JO: Who said you can quit? Stay here and finish the game!

GWEN: If you were me, you'll do the same, Jo.


GWEN: I've won the Awake-a-thon and Chef's boot camp back in season one for my team. And I am in no need to repeat those wins.


Alejandro looks at Shawn. Shawn's eyes were red and Shawn was blurting out random things.

SHAWN: It's okay, Mr. Benson. I'll take your cat from you. You have nothing to worry about.

JASMINE: Shawn! Are you alright?

Jasmine tapped Shawn. Shawn flinched and slapped Jasmine.

SHAWN: Ah! Danger! (part where Shawn slapped Jasmine.) Huh? Oops. Sorry, Jasmine.

JASMINE: Mistakes do happen.

CHEF: Shawn, were you sleeping?

SHAWN: What? Of course not! I can stay awake longer than anybody else here!

ALEJANDRO: A person doesn't need to blink if he sleeps with his eyes open. And if a person does not blink, then the moisture from his eyes would evaporate leaving the eyes red.

SHAWN: What? Did you read a science textbook before coming?

ALEJANDRO: I sleep with one eye open. I know how read one eye's become after the first few years. Thankfully, I've done it since I was six.

CHEF: (angrilly) Shawn...

SHAWN; I'll make my way to the boathouse, now.


SHAWN: Oh, come on, Alejandro! You could've let this one slide?


Still in Confessional

ALEJANDRO: I could've let this one slide. My biggest competition for me right now is Sky and Jo. Even if I did say nothing, Shawn could pose a threat for me in the next challenge. I better keep my wits about me. Besides, all I have to worry about now is staying awake longer than Sky or Jo.


Thirty more minutes passed. Chef allowed Jasmine and Brick, the two remaining Dragons, to get some rest in their team's shelter. The Unicorns coudn't and was forced to stay in the meeting area until one gave up. Eventually, one did close their eyes.

CHEF: The jungle river was full of crocodiles. My troop was forced to walk through the deadly waters. 25 of us walked in, 25 of us got out.

JO: (yawns) Can you please shut your trap. It's bad enough as it is.

CHEF: Who are you to tell me what to do, soldier? Oh? What's that? Jo! Alejandro! I will see both of you at 1600 hours.

Chef walked over and woke up Sky.

CHEF: Boathouse. Your time is done.

When Sky walked into the boathouse, Owen, Gwen, and Scott were asleep the rest were just sitting around eating chum. Sky laid down in a corner and fell asleep.

DAVE: She is cute when she sleeps.

MIKE: Who? Sky? Yeah, I guess.

DAVE: Guess? What do you mean "guess?"

Mike looks over at Zoey trying to swallow the chum.

MIKE: In case if you forgot, I'm already taken.


MIKE: Zoey's within earshot. Besides, Sky is in love with you and you're in love with Sky. I can help you only so far before Zoey might think I might be cheating on her.

DAVE: You're paranoid, aren't you?

MIKE: If you had multiple personalities, being paranoid is the least of your worries.

Owen is slowly waking up.

OWEN: Don't eat the cake, Noah! Alejandro poisoned it! No. No. (Owen wakes up screaming) NOOO! NOAH!

Topher, Samey, and Zoey ran to Owen.

ZOEY: Owen, what's wrong!

OWEN: I had this dream where (It's time for Owen's animation! So picture every known person as one of Owen's drawings.) Noah and Emma were at their wedding. They had just about to cut the cake when I saw poison in the trash. I quickly tried to warn them, but it was too late! Alejandro had poisoned Noah! (back to reality)

ZOEY: What would Alejandro have against Noah? Noah's gone.

OWEN: What do you mean he's gone!?!

ZOEY: Eliminated. I meant he's gone game-wise.

TOPHER: Do you need a hug?

OWEN: Really? (hugs Topher super tight.) Thank you, thank you, thank you!

TOPHER: Don't mention it.


TOPHER: Yep. Owen has got to go. If he hugs me again, I could be evacuated for broken ribs. Can you imagine being medically evacuated just because somebody hugged you? That has to be the worst way to leave the game.


Still in Confessional

ZOEY: Its so nice for Topher to be kind to Owen. I always thought he was more stuck-up and cared more about his looks. Boy was I wrong.


When 1600 hours came (It's basically 4 PM for those of you who don't know military time), Chef ordered the  remaining four contestants to hang down from branches. Four interns are standing nearby with a large crate crate behind each and every one of them.

CHEF: For each fifteen minutes that passes, the interns and I will give you a nasty surprise.

JO: Oh? And what that might be?

CHEF: You'll see.


JO: This is it! The last part of the challenge! All I need to do is to outlast Brick and Jasmine. Brick I know I can beat. Jasmine is more of a challenge.


Fifteen minutes have passed and the first crate was opened. Five squirt guns came out.

JASMINE: Are those water guns? What are you going to do with water guns?

CHEF: Oh, you'll see. Interns, pump out the jam!

The interns and Chef sprayed jams of five different flavors onto the four contestants. Jasmine made a sudden movement and fell off the branch. After a minute of spraying the contestants with the jam, Chef and the interns stopped. Jasmine took a seat on the bench.

JO: Hey, Brick! Think you can outlast me?

BRICK: Are you kidding? I can stay like this for days!


BRICK: Back at the academy, my drill sergeant would force us to hang upside for days until one person was left upside down. I always come in third! First and second were taken by the Bishop twins.


An hour has passed and Chef had sprayed the contestants with milk, ice cold water, and sewage. The three remaining contestants stank, but held on.

JO: Hey Leggo-Me-Fake-o. Think you can last longer than Brick?

BRICK: I see you are giving up. That's alright for me. There's no shame in giving up.

JO: Giving up? Nope. Just can't hold on.

Jo fell down and want straight for the bench.

CHEF: I expected a lot more out of you, soldier.

JO: I can't take the weight any longer.


ALEJANDRO: Its not like Jo to quit or give up when the tough gets going. Something must be on her mind.


JO: I ain't that stupid, Alejandro. I forgot that you sleep with one eye open when you framed Heather. But after this morning, I realized what you did. Call it sabatoge, but I hope Brick wins. That way, the blame will be on Alejandro!


The last crate was open. Chef and the interns sprayed Brick and Alejandro with hot sauce.

BRICK: Is that hot sauce?

CHEF: Indeed, son. Indeed.

The two males fought for another two hours. Eventually, the reuse of the squirt guns couldn't knock them off. So Chef had a different strategy to get one of them off the branch.

CHEF: I do admit you two are headstrong players.

'ALEJANDRO:' Without a doubt.

CHEF: However, everyone will soon get dizzy from all the blood going to their head. Dizziness would lead to your team losing and thus giving you a greater chance of leaving the game. The blood to your head. The blood to your head.

Brick fell off the branch.

CHEF: Congratulations to both of you. Brick, you did great, but you know what you did wrong?

BRICK: I fell?

CHEF: No, son. YOU LET YOUR ENTIRE TEAM DOWN! YOU ARE A DISGRACE, SOLDIER! Alejandro, congrats. Your team wins. Brick, Jasmine, I expect to see you and your losing troop at the campfire tonight.

While forging for berries, Samey talked about what happened between her and Topher the day before to Shawn and Jasmine.

SAMEY: ...And then he kissed my cheek.

JASMINE: Golly! That's great, Samey.

SAMEY: Thanks! I just wish he can be here longer.

JASMINE: Huh? Did he tell you something?

SAMEY: He told me that there was a group of people out to get him. Topher wants to get rid of their leader, but he's afraid of choosing the right person. All he knows is that Owen is part of the alliance.

SHAWN: Owen? Out of anyone for an alliance, its Owen.


SHAWN: This alliance must've bribed Owen very good. The dude is an open book! Out of everyone who competed in Total Drama, he is the second worst to keep secrets! The first being Tyler, but he isn't here, is he?


SHAWN: I don't know about that, Samey. I mean, we do have to vote somebody out, but Owen is pretty much the worst candidate for a secret alliance partner. If the alliance was well-known, then yes. Besides, why do we need to vote off Owen?

SAMEY: Topher said that the leader's reaction would pop up.

JASMINE: I see. So the guy leading the charge against Topher would have to be in shock to find that Owen is the one leaving the game.

SHAWN: I have my doubts, but I'll agree to vote for Owen for tonight.

In the cave over by the Dragon's shelter, Topher pulled in Brick, LeShawna, and Dakota in.

TOPHER: Alright, guys. We need to vote off somebody tonight.

LESHAWNA: I say we vote off the first person on the course.

TOPHER: That's me.

LESHAWNA: Exactly.

TOPHER: Okay, you can vote for me, but wouldn't you want to vote out somebody like Owen?

DAKOTA: Owen? Why would we vote off Owen?

TOPHER: He's a fan favorite, plus he's popular with everyone. Would you bring Owen into the finale knowing that everyone likes him?

DAKOTA: Well, no, but...

TOPHER: The dude is a major threat to his game. He is easily bribed by food. If we don't take him out when we have a chance, we will never will! So, who's with me?

DAKOTA: I will.

LESHAWNA: Sure. It is business, after all.

The three of them put their hands in the middle.

TOPHER: Uh, Brick. We kind of need you to agree.

BRICK: Okay. Fine.

Brick put his hands in the middle.

TOPHER: Good. We are all in agreement.


TOPHER: Brick, Brick! Why did you hesitate? That does not look good for you! But its not my problem! You will be leaving next time we are at the campfire ceremony, Brick!


Still in Confessional

BRICK: I may not be the one with all the brains, but I do know what Topher is doing, and I don't like it. I need to find Owen!


It was a few minutes before the Dragons had to vote. Brick managed to find Owen on a hillside.

BRICK: Owen!

OWEN: Brick! Dude! Did you came to see the sunset with me?

BRICK: Negative. I came to warn you. Topher's plotting against you.

OWEN: Oh, that's WHAT? Against me?

BRICK: I heard it straight from his mouth. He is plotting against you.

OWEN: But we hugged.

OWEN: If we act now, we can convince the others to-

The loudspeakers went on.

CHRIS: Guess who's back! Chef told me everything. Dragons, get your butts to the campfire. Somebody's heading home.

OWEN: Oh, come on! I need time!

BRICK: If we hurry, we can convince LeShawna, Dakota, and Scott to vote for Topher! Hurry!

The Dragons have already voted and awaited the marshmallows.

CHRIS: It is now time for the moment of truth. Marshmallow time! You know the routine. No marshmallow means you get a ticket off this island! For good. The following are safe: Jasmine, Dakota, Brick, Samey, Shawn, LeShawna, and Scott.

Topher looked calmly at the last marshmallow, confident that he is safe. Owen, on the other hand, was nervous about the last marshmallow.

CHRIS: And finally... Topher.

Topher caught the last marshmallow. Owen sulked.

CHRIS: Don't worry, Owen. You will be missed.

Brick watched as Owen walked away.


BRICK: Topher's good. But all I need is for a tie so that Topher goes home. I am superior in challenges and once he's gone, the slate will be clean.


The Dragons watched as Owen boarded the Boat of Losers and disappeared over the horizion.

CHRIS: The teams are now tied with eight a piece! Who will be the next contestant off the show? Find out next time here on Total! Drama! Pahkitew's Revenge!


Episode Reference: The episode's title is based off of the song "Pump Out the Jam" by Technotronics. Since jam is another word for jelly, you get the picture.

Episode Quote: Topher (Confessional): "Samey is like my aunt's dog. ...I am holding the leash on Samey. And when I don't want the dog anymore, I let the leash go."

Contestant Eliminated: Owen

Team: Dreadful Dragons

Reason: Topher convinced the team to vote out Owen due to the former's popularity.

Rank/Place: 17th


Brick- Topher

Dakota- Owen

Jasmine- Owen

LeShawna- Owen

Owen- Topher

Samey- Owen

Scott- Owen

Shawn- Owen

Topher- Owen


Writer's Note

You might've noticed a few things. The "Remaining Contestants" from the last few blogs is gone. Not only that, but also the link to the previous episode is missing. And no, it is not an April Fool's prank.

Instead, the "Remaining Contestants" portion will be permantly deleted. There will be no more. The links to all the episodes will be in the Total Drama Pahkitew's Revenge Notice. The link to that will be up on the future blogisodes until the season is over.

Also, this is the last of the Writer's Note with some exception (ie. help molding the challenge. There is only one more and its coming up faster than you think.) Replacing the Writer's Note segment will be the link to the season's notice.

But I do have some news. In the notice blog, I did mention that there is only one unnatural elimination. In other words, one person will be eliminated without being voted off. Will they quit or is it something more serious? So, along with your personal review of this episode, predict who might be that one unlucky person who will have that unnatural elimination. The choices are endless.

See you guys later. Or sooner. Definitely sooner.


If you want to see previous episodes, the Total Drama Pahkitew's Revenge notice is right here with all the current episodes:'s_Revenge_Notice

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