An intern is seen fumbling nervously with a stagelight, trying to get it to focus on Chris. He is visibly annoyed.

Chris: Dude, is it really that hard to get it to focus on my precious face? 

The intern's supervisor, who goes by the name of Harold, pushes him aside and manages the lighting. He then gives Chris the signal that indicates that they've started recording. 

Chris: People of Canada! We're coming to you live from a warehouse in Toronto where fourteen contestants are just about to embark on a journey of hardships, heartbreak and pain. Oh, (grins), LOTS of pain!

He walks over to a wide-screen television and stands next to it. The living room is shown, knick-knacks and magazines scattered on the coffee table. The cushions on the red velvet couch have been plumped as well. 

Chris: They're going to be locked into that house and if they want to win the grand prize of one million dollars, they're going to have to battle it out to kick each other out of there!

The crowd cheers as a women in a red dress walks onto the stage. She makes it difficult for Chris not to call her out, instead he grits his teeth and greets her. His spotlight has been stolen.

Blaineley: And that's not all, the winner will also be getting a sponsorship deal from a world-renowned food connoisseur, Chef Hatchet! He may be a good cook, but more than that, he's got quite the mouth. You wouldn't want to get in his way. (Blaineley winks) 

Chris's watch beeps, signalling that it's time to introduce the contestants. Chris: I assure you, we've chosen those who we're sure will not let me and you down in any way. We've already started to see some tension between them! 

Blaineley: Put your hands together for the cast of season one of the new hit reality series, Total Drama: Pahkitew's Return! Blaineley is met with a chorus of applause as the crowd goes wild. Five contestants walk onto the stage, dragging with them their luggage. A sixth, a blonde girl who'd stopped in the dressing room to check on her makeup and do a touch-up, follows.  

She tries to flash a grin at the audience, but finds it hard to do so. This is because, she along with the other contestants is squinting due to the intense light that was being reflected by the glitter-coated bag of another girl.

You couldn't tell that she was in her twenties. Chris bit his lip, stopping himself from saying something that he would regret. He'd already been sent to the human resources department too many times.

Please note that in this version, Ella's hair has been let down and she wears a bright yellow sundress instead. The contestants are considerably older.

Ella: Oh sorry, I'd just grabbed this old thing on my way out. It used to be mine when I was about six years old and obsessed with glitter of any kind. 

Sugar: Yeah, I'm sure you didn't want to draw attention to yourself. What was it next to, the closet with dancing brooms?  (Ella drops her smile after hearing this comment.)

Chris: Girls please, let's save the drama for when you're in the house. 

Blaineley: Scarlett, after seeing your fellow contestants, how positive are you that you can beat the competition? 

Scarlett adjusts her glasses and answers. "I'm confident about my chances of winning, considering the odds. But I'm not about to take this too lightly." 

"And of course, I may have a trick or two up my sleeve.", she thinks.

Chris: Rodney, how are you feeling?...Rodney? Rodney had, uptil now, been eyeing Scarlett. He'd been lost in his own fantasy and had to be brought to attention. 

Rodney: Huh? I'm a little rattled. I didn't expect for the competition to be so... 

After seeing that the other girls were waiting for his response, he trailed off and instead blushed. He was lost to the world again. 

Seeing the embarassing look on his face, Chris points to the television screen which now shows a couch, with a pixelated design on the cushions. It is aimed towards the camera. 

Chris: Here's where you can voice your thoughts, for those private moments when you feel that your fellow houseguests won't get you or you might want to keep something from them. 

Chris specifically looks at Samantha when he says this, and she gasps.

The others look at her and she quickly plays it off as an opportunity to get their attention. 

Samey: Well I don't know about you, but I'm excited at getting the opportunity to play this game, away from the wrath of my horrid sister.

It's going to be nice making a name for myself, for a change. The six of them walk to the door of the house and on Chris's signal, enter it. 

Sugar pushes Ella's things off the bed that the latter had claimed. Sky helps her gather her things, all the while, glaring at Sugar.


Rodney: I didn't expect to be surrounded by so many beautiful girls. I don't think I could take them on. I mean, would you choose a million dollars over someone you love? 

Sugar: That Ella girl better know that I'm on to her and her little act. She better watch out. Not everything is unicorns and rainbows in this realm of television. If she thinks she can trick me, she's got another thing coming!

Samey: Was Chris trying to call me out in front of everyone? How is this fair, I didn't even ask to be part of a twist. Why am I still letting my sister control me? 

Sky: Sugar needs to pull her act together. So far, she has not painted a good image for herself. I mean, she could at least try to be civil. 


The other seven contestants have gathered outside. 

Jasmine: I'm quite excited to be here! I'm done some intense physical training and I think I'm ready to take on the challenges. Pretty sure that nothing is going to get in my way. 

The scene cuts to showing Jasmine wrestling a creature back in Australia. She gets ahold of it and throws it into a cage. The rabid feline happens to be her cat, Whiskers.

Shawn: This is going to be great practice for being in an enclosed space, such as a bunker. You know, just in case there's a zombie apocolypse or something. Not that I'm crazy or anything. 

Shawn has significantly more stubble than he did in the show and has exchanged his hat for a beanie. 

Jasmine: You can't be serious, right? 

"Of course, not." Shawn says, laughing it off so that it appears to the others to be a joke. 

Leonard: The mighty forces of Kaha will defeat the spirits of the brain-dead when they rise up! 

Chris: That's great Leonard. I'm sure we'd all love to hear more about you and whatever it is that is your hobby, but we're short on time so we're going to move on. Topher, what's your take on this? 

Q. What should be Topher's role in this story? 

A. He sticks to his role in the show and tries to build a name for himself so that he can take over the show. 

B. He's the resident hottie looking for a showmance. Does not have a game strategy. 

C. He's not above using people for his own gain and takes on the role of an antagonist. 

I promise you that future choices will be more influential to the events of the story.                                      

Topher: I was just wondering what emotions must be racing through your mind, Chris. After the disaster that was that ice-skating show, the network must be pretty ticked. Does that make you nervous?

Chris looks startled and taken aback. He proceeds to usher Topher into the house.

Chris: What? I'm the one who's supposed to be asking the questions here. Just, get in.

Topher: It says in the contract that you can't have physical contact with the contestants. If I were you, I wouldn't break the rules, unless you're looking for a lawsuit.

Dave is visibly shaking and Beardo, the sound effects coordinator has to keep him steady.

Beardo had been placed onto the show once they'd found a replacement for him, that being B.

Dave: Thanks man. Hey, so can the rest of us enter the house? I'm started to get a little jittery standing here. 

The glare directed towards Topher is dropped and Chris gets on with the show.

Chris: Sure, just one last thing. Six houseguests have already gotten settled in so you might want to get acquainted with them. Remember, alliances are the key to winning. Good luck!

Jasmine, Shawn, Topher, Dave, Beardo and Max all enter the house simulataneously. The crowd cheers.

Note that Amy will be part of the twin twist and introduced later on, once a few of the houseguests have been evicted and Samey has managed to hold her place in the game.

Chris walks backstage, folds his arms and frowns. He then talks to the staff.

Chris: Seriously, who's bright idea was it to cast that one on the show? Somebody is definitely getting fired today.


Dave: The truth is, I'm not used to being in situations where I have to socialize and that may just be my downfall. 

A dust bunny sticks to his hand, he shrieks and moves his arms rapidly so that it falls off. He proceeds to rub hand sanitizer on himself.

Hey, the cleaning staff has been here right? I wouldn't want to come in contact with any more germs.

Topher: It probably isn't best to anger the host at such an early stage in the game but they'll see how the ratings go up after this little stunt. Things are going to take off for me in this business, I'm sure of it.

Max: Once I initiate my master plan, I'll have Canada's favorite in the bag! They'll see the master strategist that is me and won't vote any other way. 


The scene cuts to showing the thirteen houseguests in the living room, exchanging greetings. 

The television screen in the house comes to life and Sky calls attention to it.

Blaineley: Hello houseguests. Now that you're familiar with one another, I think it's time that we start things off with a bang. It's time for the first Head of Household challenge!

The winner of this competition will be able to put up two of his fellow houseguests for eviction.

In the Power of Veto competition that follows, a houseguest may be able to save one of the two or keep the nominees. If one is saved, a third will have to be put up on the block and the remaining houseguests will vote a member of the duo, out.

Please proceed to the backyard in an orderly manner.

This last comment stops a hasty Sugar from pushing the others out of her way and she groans.

An obstacle course has been set up outside, with hurdles in each contestant's path. Flat screen televisions have been attached to the posts.

Blaineley: Here's how this works. Once the word "Go" appears on the television screen, you're going to race across the field and push the red button in to lock in your time. The contestant that is the last to reach the end, is out.

Oh and make sure to focus on the word that appears on the screen. If you are not in position when an incorrect word is shown, this will be counted as a false start and you will be out. 


Sky: Seriously, it's like this challenge was tailor-made for me. This should be good practice for the Olympics.


The houseguests arrange themselves, some having more difficulty than others. Sugar struggles to keep her bangs from falling into her field of vision.

The first time the word "Go" appears, Sky, Jasmine and Topher dart off from the starting point. They smash their respective buttons, locking in their times.

However, it is Rodney who is the second to reach, just behind Sky, owing to his build.

Then come Shawn, Samey and Scarlett followed by Max who is struggling to catch his breath.

Dave clutches a rag in order to prevent himself from contracting germs before he checks in, adding an additional few seconds to his time.

Note that in my version, Dave being a germaphobe is more of an exaggerated trait.

Beardo checks in, followed by Sugar who'd caught her foot on one of the hurdles and face-planted onto the ground, but was able to pick herself up. Her hair is all over the place, though.

It is down to Ella and Leonard. The latter had at first tried to choose magic in order to teleport himself but after this does not work out, he resorted to running. Unfortunately for him, he tripped on his robe and Ella was able to skip past him. 

He is deemed out and sits dejectedly on the bleachers, a worried look on his face. The others get into position once more.

Q. What occurence prevents a front-runner from making it in time?

A. Dave tries to strike up a conversation with Sky while they are waiting, taking her by surprise. She may or may not be able to make up for lost time.

B. An animal enters the vicinity after hearing Ella humming and attacks one of the houseguests. 

C. Max mentions watching a horror movie with zombies in it, making Shawn freak out.

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