This article/section features spoilers. Continue reading at your own risk.

See this picture right up there? I uploaded that. Hecks yeah.

Welcome back to my reviews of Total Drama Pahkitew Island, where I think I've gotten over my grief from the loss of Ella. After many counseling sessions, I think I'm better now. 

We open up with a pretty funny scene, where Chris tells Ella's animals, who are still lingering around the campfire, to beat it. "Ella's gone. I shot her." Yep, and there go those counseling sessions, right out the window. "From a cannon. Off the island." THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER CHRIS.

After the recap, we see a Jasmine and Max interaction (pretty sure we haven't seen one of those yet). "Must your giant feet be so noisy? I was having the most delightful dream!" I had a delightful dream about you last night, Max. YAY! THE THREE PEOPLE I GIVE A CRAP ABOUT SHARING A SCENE! WOWZERS!


"Okay, I kind of flirt with Dave sometimes. And I dreamt about him. And my tummy fills with butterflies when he's around but that doesn't mean I have a crush on him. I can't, I'm not looking for romance! He gets it!" I'm pretty sure I see a wet spot on your pants between your legs.

So New Mike and New Zoey Dave and Sky eat breakfast together and I feel like losing my breakfast. Meanwhile Sugar tries to hit on Shawn and I'm so uninterested in her I'm more focused on how totally tubular Shawn's hat is. 

"We could form an alliance of our own." "There's no nice way to say this; I'D RATHER BE EATEN BY A ZOMBIE!" And this is why I like you, Shawn. And then we get the first gag from Sugar I have ever liked (apart from the vending machine gag): Where she licks her hand and smothers Sky's face with it. This was the first gag Total Drama has made me laugh out loud at in a while, so props to you, Miles Smith, for actually getting me to laugh AT SUGAR.

Chris announces the challenge and I also get reminded why I like Topher.  Then we actually get *GASP* CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! *DOUBLE GASP* "Hello? Jasmine? Are you still on Australian time? I actually have no idea if that's ahead of us or behind us but you get the joke!" I like you too Chris. 

Okay, I officially like Jasmine. We get a pretty funny line from Shawn in the confessional. Heartwarming Chris is heartwarming. Then he pushes everyone down a hole and breaks every bone in everybody's body. Oh wait this isn't real life, it's a cartoon. Then Jasmine and Topher make me like them even more. Chris actually makes me laugh and I notice that when Max walks, his hair bobs up and down. I love the attention to detail here.

Hey! We get a Beardo reference! Cool, that one guy that I forgot existed until this episode. "Fast would be preferable. This pit seems to be structurally unstable." SCARLETT YOU'RE SO SMART I CAN'T EVEN. 

Sugar acts like an idiot (big shock) and causes a cave in. But then she cockblocks Dave and Sky, so that makes me feel better. But then she eats a slug, so that makes me feel worse. Topher I like you dude but you clearly have five bars. Writer's fault? Animators' faults? WHO KNOWS? 

Meanwhile Max is touching Scarlett's butt (playaaaaa!) and pushing her. Chris appears on the TV and talks to them. "Thank you for the warning. You are now in my favor." I'd like to be in your favor. "Tiptoeing is boring to watch so here's a crocodile." He should've brought back Vince. Oh wait, Season 3 barely exists. Right. Forgot about that. Miles Smith....

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Scarlett gets about 500% more interesting as she shows a devious side of herself, and we get another funny scene from Max before the crocodile eats him.

After commercial, we find out the croc is mechanical and Scarlett is smart some more. And then very, very scary. Meanwhile Jasmine and Topher encounter a giant pit and Topher has a funny line. Jasmine suffocates Topher to death and it turns out the pit is only like two feet deep. Over at the characters we don't care about except Shawn, we get the return of... SCUBA BEAR!! YAYZ! ONLY NOW HE'S BLING BEAR AND IS 200% MORE AWESOME!!!! 

Topher and Jasmine find an exit, while Scarlett and Max find an elevator. Huh. Sky, Dave, Sugar, and Shawn find a pool and escape Scuba Bling Bear. "I like how funny you are." Someone kill me. And it turns out they came out of the....confessional. Excellent. 

"Yep, I've lost the kids. Better grab our getaway bags and fake passports, Hector." That was funny. You are funny. Also remember in TDI, when Chef used to talk, like, every episode? That was cool. So nobody wins and we cut to commercial again.

At elimination, Chef lights the reward on fire and I actually laugh out loud. Holy poop, that's three. New record! We get a funny exchange between Chris, Max, and Scarlett, and Chris switches Max over to Team Something I Guess and Sky over to Team I Don't Care. "You're in my seat. GONE WITH YOU!" I'll be in your seat, Max. 

So overall, this was a pretty good episode indeed. I really enjoyed a lot of the interactions, and it made me like Jasmine a lot more. I also am very interested in where Scarlett is going to go as a character, so I'm excited!

Final Score: 8/10

  • Pros: Jasmine, Topher, Scarlett, Shawn, Max, Chris, Jasmine-Topher Interactions, Max-Scarlett Interactions, Fun Challenge, Good Character Development, Bling Bear
  • Cons: Sugar, Dave, Sky, Dave-Sky Interactions
  • McLean-Brand Chris Head: Chris (Funny Lines, Funny Interactions with the Contestants)
  • Cannon of Shame: Sugar (Stupid Lines, Unfunny Humor Except for those Scenes that made me Laugh, Weird Interactions)

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