This article/section features spoilers. Continue reading at your own risk.


Welcome back to my reviews of the episodes of Total Drama Pahkitew Island, where we're in for a treat today with this episode.

After a pretty funny recap, out episode opens up with a volcano that spurts confetti all over our remaining competitors. This episode doesn't include Dave, so its ranking just went up 1 point. Scarlett and Max are over with Chris being awesome. Jasmine says "no" weird. "The island's mostly artificial." Max, Scarlett, why are you gasping? You found this out last episode when there was a control panel in a tree. Wait, is all this crap happening to the the island because Max threw up on one control panel? 

All of a sudden, a computer pops out of the ground and lets everyone know that the island's selfdestruct sequence has been activated. Chris announces a challenge: Find the island's main control room and shut down the self destruct sequence. "The fool! He just handed me the key to the island! It's all mine! Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha!" OOOOOOOOOOOOOO GURL 

"Why does an island have a self destruct setting?" WOWZERS YOU ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING NOT INVOLVING DAVE FOR ONCE

So Chris escapes in his helicopter (NO WHY NOT YOUR SMEXY JETPACK?!) Scarlett and Max run off as a team (Max, you sly dawg) and Jasmine and Shawn run off as another (Shawn, you slyer dawg) leaving Sky and ughh.... sugar. Jesus Christ Jasmine is like 8000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 feet tall. Shawn I know you like her and everything the deed is gonna be pretty awkward. Jasmine change your position in the confessional. "Shawn's great. We have everything in common." Umm, I like you Jaz, but, weren't you, like, trying to kill him last episode? 

NOOOO Y U NO BRING FANG BACK FOR THIS EPISODE? #FangforVicePresident2016 How the heck can Jasmine and Shawn see underwater? Also how do their hats not float away? Do they use Krazy Glue or something to stick them on their heads? "I'm glad peeing your pants while underwater goes totally unnoticed. What happens in the pond stays in the pond." That was a good line. You're getting better Miles Smith. 

"I'm like the girl version of you." Ouch, burned by Sugar. How do you feel about that Sky? So they climb into a hole and a tree comes up and pushes them up by their bottoms (so, so many innuendos....) We then cut to Scarlett and Max trying to find out which rock leads to the control room. "Why don't you ask them?" "Finally, a good suggestion."  I'm liking Scarlett and Max's interactions this season. So Max kicks a rock and falls into the control room and Scarlett flashes an evil grin and says an evil line as she follows him. 

Shawn and Jasmine get to the motion sensors and they flip and jump through them in a cool Mission Impossible style scene. Then, they kiss. MMMMMMMM GURRLLLLLLLLLL

I like how Jasmine has to bend over to kiss Shawn. Some killer robot animals are unleashed because they got detected by the motion sensors. "Well that was the shortest season ev-er." Jasmine looks weird without her hat.

So Sky and Sugar ride a large tree (must resist innuendo) into the control center. THAT KITTYS A FIRIN HIS LAZOR

After we come back from commercial, Max and Scarlett get to a room right outside the control room. Max gets jolted with enough electric shocks to make a person have a heart attack in real life. Eventually the panel shorts out and we get the reveal that *GASP* Scarlett is one evil, crazy, bish. "Scarlett, you look different." Thanks, Sherlock. "I AM EVIL!" Scarlett just got 200000000000% more awesome. "Oh. The lovable bruin that enjoys diving and carbohydrates!" YAAAASSS Scuba Bling Pasta Robot Bear YAAAASSSSS

So Scarlett tells Chris he has to give her the million buckaroos or else she'll destory the island. "CHEF! WE'VE GOT AN EMERGENCY! The foamy thing in the coffee machine won't work at all now." CHEF'S TDWT PILOT SUIT FTW

Scarlett tricks everyone into going into a room full of robot Chrises. Really I'm not even gonna question it. I've just come to expect it from TD. Shawn swags out and destroys all the evil robot Chrises. YUY JASMINE AND SHAWN ARE OFFICIALLY A COUPLE


Scarlett's got a pretty sexy hairstyle. It's hot. Like fire. And Kate Upton.

The Chris head falling off is hilarious. Sugar jumps in and kills Scarlett. AND WE DON'T EVEN GET TO SEE IT?

ItsJosh This user loves a good catfight, just like Josh.

Scarlett gets tied up by her own hair, which is pretty funny. "OH! WHOA! YOU TOOK DOWN SCARLETT! NICE! WAY BETTER THAN DYING!" "We're just lucky these robots are cursed with your ugly mug or we'd *electric shock*" That had me in stitches.

Wait how does Max breaking the control center's computer break the helicopter's computer? Whatever. HEY LOOK THE CHEF BOBBLE HEAD THAT'S TOTALLY TUBULAR THAT THEY BROUGHT IT BACK MENG

Wowzers this island is weird LOOK SASQUATCHANAKWA CAMEO

So at elimination Scarlett is eliminated and Chris makes me laugh out loud (again) by throwing marshmallows at her. Beardo reference YUY But then..

Wait Max

Max what are you doing

Stop it no


Don't do it


So this episode was very good, the best this season. I don't really know (nor do I care) if Scarlett was the main antagonist of the season, but I was just amazed by how well written it was. I loved that the reveal didn't just come out of nowhere and that they had slowly been building it up throughout the season so THUMBS UP MENG

Final Score: 10/10

  • Pros: Scarlett, Chris, Max, Shawn, Jasmine, Scarlett-Max Interactions, Jasmine-Shawn Interactions, Chris-Everyone Interactions, Funny Lines, Good Plotline, Sugar Was Only Mildly Annoying
  • McLean-Brand Chris Head: Scarlett (Obvious Reasons)
  • Cannon of Shame: Nobody Really, Not Even Sugar