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EllaXGreasePig

Maskwick? Mattwock? Kinasoweak? Oh, pardon me, I'm just still trying to figure out how to pronounce the team's names over here. Where were we?

So Chris swags out on the recap. When the episode actually starts, we see Jasmine sleeping in the tree and not in the fort for some reason. Amy is a female dog as usual. Samey and Jasmine go to pick berries. Meanwhile, at Team Losers, Leonard is trying to hit on Dave and Sky while Sugar kills Ella (with her words). "I used rocks as pillows last night. Very unclean rocks." Nice, TD. Still trying to drive up the similarities to Mike huh? Both have similar clothing, similar skin tone, and are (rather offensive) stereotypes of actual conditions that peopls suffer with (MPD and germaphobia). Smooth. 

Meanwhile, over at the characters we don't care about (not that we care about Team Mask-whatever either except Ella), Jasmine tries to convince Samey to stand up to Amy. Why do I feel like this is gonna end in a killing spree? Shawn shows up and his zombie thing actually isn't as grating as I thought it would be right now. NO SHAWN! WE WERE ON A ROLL WITH CHARACTERS WE DON'T CARE ABOUT EXCEPT ELLA! DON'T SHOW UP TO ACTUALLY BE A COOL CHARACTER AND RUIN IT! Jasmine no one gives a shoot about cricket. Shawn and Jasmine legitimately hit on each other but they're interrupted by Chris swagging out on the PA.

The contestants walk in the woods and Max is awesome some more. So Chris announces the challenge that nobody at home is really paying attention to. Basically, it's like a relay race except everything has been greased. I feel a heart attack coming on just looking at it. Chris then says he couldn't find a relay baton so he gives them pigs instead. Because why the fudge not. (I feel like that's becoming my catchphrase for these reviews.) HA HA I GET IT SCARLETT IS NERDY HA THATS NOT OLD. Meanwhile Fat Scott (Sorry, Rodney,) hits on Jasmine and Amy, like, at once. 

At Team Nobody Cares About Anybody On The Team Except Shawn And Ella, Shawn is actually trying to be sensible but no, Sugar has to be a typical Southern (impulsive and stupid, AYOOOO). Max reveals his helmet of ev-il. It might just be me but the phrase "Come hither bunny" is really friggin funny. Fat Scott (I mean Rod-Aw, fudge it, I'll just call him that from now on) like, breaks his balls. "I hope Amy didn't see that!" So she doesn't know you won't be able to reproduce any more?

Topher slides down the zipline and calls Chris tired. Sugar, like, tries to hit on the greasy pig or something. Hey, it looks and behaves exactly like your typical southern boy so they're a perfect fit, AYOOOOO) Chris says tubular while he's signing off for the commercial break and I realize I now need to incorporate that into my daily speech.

When we come back Amy is still being a female dog. "I'm the beauty and the brains!" Not with that ugly-as-butt mole you're not (at least not the beauty). "I was worried abouth cruelty to animals during this challenge but I'm fine with cruelty to Samey." What's the difference? AYOOOOOOO. Ella is still being cool and Sugar is still being annoying. "I Love You Grease Pig!" And we have a title ladies and gents!

We then see Scarlett's confessional that was leaked like a month or so ago by her Spanish voice actor or something. All right, Max, I love you man, but I really didn't need that shot directly at your face. Scarlett connects a wire and that makes Max's evil helmet work or something I guess. I just realized who Max reminds me of. It's that guy from that Johnny Test show that is on CN that nobody watches anymore. Sky and Dave have mind sex while Leonard is still stupid as he tries to levitate the pig. Of course, Team Thank God We Don't Have Leonard On Our Team Because He Sucks wins and we get a subtle dig at KFC. Oh yeah, Fat Scott still exists. Tots forgot about him.

Why is the pig at the elimination ceremony? "And the irritating oddball going home tonight is..." Gee I wonder. Also that's an insult to Ellas everywhere, you do not talk about my favorite female character from this season like that. Oh what a surprise. Leonard. Shocking. All of a sudden Sugar gets a crush on him or something. What a switchup: for once a LARPer actually got a girlfriend AYOOOOO. 

This episode was rather disappointing. It had a rather good premise and the solid characters stayed solid. However there were some bad things that really just kinda dragged it down for me.

Final Score: 6/10

  • Pros: Shawn, Ella, Good Character Development, The Word Tubular
  • Cons: Leonard, Sugar, Fat Scott's Forced Plotline, Dave's Sort-of Offensive Stereotype, Predictable Elimination
  • McLean-Brand Chris Head: Ella (Funny Lines, Singing Plotline, Good Interactions)
  • Cannon of Shame: Leonard (Annoying, Magic Sideplot Really Grating)

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