|This article/section features spoilers. Continue reading at your own risk.|
WARNING: This review is intended for mature audiences only. Please do not read if you are easily upset.
Well, everyone else is doing it, so I figured, why not give it a shot? Yep, I'm reviewing every episode of TDAS. If these reviews go over well, I might even review other seasons. These reviews will basically be me typing down my thoughts as I watch the episode on YouTube. At the end of each review, I will reward the McLean-Brand Chris Head to the character I enjoyed the most in this episode, and I will give the Flush of Shame to the character I disliked the most. So, let's begin with the first episode of the season, Heroes vs. Villains.
So we open up in prison. The Escaped Psycho Killer appears, but he has a different voice. K? Not sure why Scott McCord couldn't just use his Psycho Killer voice again, or maybe I dunno, VOICE OWEN, THE MOST ALL-STARRY OF ALL TOTAL DRAMA ALL-STARS! Oh, sorry, did I say All-Starry? I meant SCREEN-HOGGY!!!!!!
Sorry, I'm done.
Anywhoo, we see Chris in his cell creating a fake season with bugs. Am I the only one who really wants to see that season? And Chris changes his mind in a split milli-second about returning. I like the detail added in Chris's cell, like the Gilded Chris and the map of Camp Wawankawa.
And we get the theme song, and I can't wait to see all the contestants interac...
WHY?! WHY DID THEY HAVE TO CUT DOWN THE THEME SONG?! WHY IS IT ONLY LIKE 20 SECONDS! WHY ARE THEY SO OBVIOUSLY GIVING ALEJANDRO AWAY EVEN THOUGH IT'S OBVIOUS WHO THE ROBOT IS! WHY! WHYYYYYYYYYYYY-
So we see Chris on the Island, now completely toxic-waste free. And the Drama Machine is there without any explanation. Also, Chris, that isn't a million dollars anymore, now that your FRIGGIN HELICOPTER blew away about $500 bucks of it. Why don't you just tell your robot to close the case? Also, why is the Drama Machine Chris's robot now? I thought it was owned by Celebrity Manhunt.
Anyways, Chris now introduces the contestants. Why and how did Mike transform into his other personalities without triggers? He never did before. I WANT EXPLANATION, D@MM1T! And I'm glad to see Zoey is just oh so independent from Mike now. Yay, Lightning's back! And his hair is still white. Woo-hoo? At least his introduction was funny. Cameron's back. Dude, what is highly illogical? I don't understand. You came back for another season with Chris. Of course he's gonna be a d1ck to you. What did you expect? And Sam's back? Wut. And Scott. Haha, remember when so many people argued he wasn't gonna be in the season? That was funny. And stupid. Jo's kicked off the copter pretty unceremoniously. K.
And now the veterans. UGH, GOD, COURTNEY'S BACK. UGHHHHHHH.
"This is not in my contraaaaaaact!"
Gwen's introduced. "He wasn't her boyfriend at the tiiiiiime!" ......I'm sorry, Gwen, are you memorilly (yeah, that's a word) challenged? I can't... He... She.... UGH. DOES NOT COMPUTE. Duncan, Heather, and Lindsaydiot are still their old selves. And then we get Sierra.
Then this part comes.
"Feral Freak Show Ezekiel!"
I refer you to this clip, writer(s) of this episode.
How dare you. HOW DARE YOU TAKE A ROYAL DUMP ON FANS OF THIS EX-CHARACTER? WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO ROYALLY DESTROY THIS CHARACTER, LOVED BY MANY FANS, INCLUDING ME! HOW DARE YOU STILL KEEP UP THIS STUPID, UNFUNNY JOKE! JUST BRING HIM BACK TO F#@$ING NORMAL, FOR THE LOVE OF JEEBUS!
Sorry. That happens sometimes.
So Ezekiel is caught by the Drama Machine's plunger, and why is its arm not fully attached to its body?
We see the contestants down at the beach and Heather spits out a starfish. Umm, no Lindsay, Heather said nothing even hinting toward missing Alejandro. Why did you come to the conclusion that she missed her boyfriend(?) when she only stated that she hated Chris. Do I smell foreshadowing? So Chris tells the contestants they have new contracts. How did they not know this? Because they obviously had to sign them to participate in the show again. Just saying. Sam reveals that he came back to the island to get mutated and become a mutant like Dakota. lolwut. Chris talks about the McLean Spa Hotel, which got blown up in the last season. Nice to see it make a return. I like how Chris has to mention that it is Eco-Friendly. Also, I like Heather's acknowledgement of being put on the Villains team. Gwen then laments about the two not being on the same team unless Chris considers Duncan a Hero. Haha, yeah, funny thing about that....
So the Villainous Vultures are formed.
"Why am I on the Villains Team?" "Because you stole my boyfriend!"
Now, the Heroic Hamsters are formed. WHY IS COURTNEY ON THIS TEAM GOD THIS IS STU- I want the Heroic Hippos to happen sometime. Also, when the Drama Machine pushes Sierra over to the rest of the Heroic Hamsters team, is it touching her boob?
Um, Jo, you didn't complain in season four, when the other team was bigger than yours. Shoehorned-in excuse to get the Robot in as part of the plot AWAYYYYYY!!!!!!! Scott, how did you know the Robot can talk? Unless you watched TDWT on whatever thing you hillbillies use as substitutes for TV, you wouldn't know that.
"The communication chip cakked while I was in the hoosegow." "Was that English?"
Okay, that was pretty funny.
Ummm, Heather. Why are you acting like the Robot is JUST NOW disturbing you? THAT THING WAS CRADLING YOU IN ITS ARMS LAST SEASON AND IT IS JUST NOW DISTURBING YOU? The TD writers are good with continuity, aren't they? Also, is it just me, but is Heather's butt falling into the toilet in the confessional?
I like the idea of the challenges being homages to the past seasons's challenges. That's pretty clever. Also, I feel like a terrible person for saying this, but Scott's phobia of sharks is hilarious. Also, hey, that intern that died in season one. Nice throwback.
Sooooooo, is Coderra official now? Because it sounds like it the way Sierra's talking about him. I'm just gonna guess and assume it is. It's also nice to see the interactions between the newbies and the originals (Jo, Heather, and Gwen; Sam and Sierra; etc.)
The Villains's combined confessionals were hilarious, especially with the Drama Machine's added thoughts. Also, that laughing with the fire behind them is bad-a$$.
"You know how to stop making mistakes? Teach me!" Lindsay's already got two of the funniest lines this episode. I'm starting to like her more. Why is Chris's jetpack blowing up all that dust? It never did that before. Also, I like Chris's jetpack, it's one of the coolest vehicles on the show.
(Hmph. Wish I had a freaking jetpack. Rassa Frassa....)
Lightning, Scott, and Jo's interaction about the cart was hilarious, as well as Gwen and Jo's interaction. Also, Gwen, Duncan and Courtney were not over. Courtney's right, you did technically steal her boyfriend.
Did I just agree with Courtney?
I think I need to go see a doctor.
When they reach the top of the cliff, Sam falls on Cameron. Heheh. It's funny cuz Sir Fuglyness got hurt. Anywhoo, Fang's back, and Scott, Mike, and Zoey are scared as ever. Meanwhile, Gwen's just over here like "Duuurrrrrwut?" When we get back from a commercial break, everyone is in different positions than they were in before the break, and Lightning and Courtney jump. Why is Courtney jumping if she was to pu$$y to do it in season 1? God, I love Chris's jetpack.
"How do I push again?"
So Jo and Lightning talk about staying out of each other's ways until the merge. Heheh, funny thing about that, too. When they get to the spa, Lightning pulls out his key. It doesn't fit, but he still tries to force it in.
Jo insults Lightning, and Courtney has the wrong key, and Lindsay is stupid. Back on the cliff, Sierra talks about her fanblogs and compares her "relationship" with Cody to Duncan and Gwen's relationship before Jo comes back and Duncan asks for a kiss. Gwen, just like a jerk, chucks Duncan off the cliff, into Fang's mouth, to his death. NICE JOB BEING A LOVING SUPPORTING GIRLFRIEND GWEN.
Actually, Duncan grabs a key, and Jo and Duncan head away to the hotel. Meanwhile, Sierra jumps and finds a key that's Cody-shaped, and lands on Courtney.
Heheh. It's funny cuz Courtney got hurt. Meanwhile, Jo and Duncan... flirt I guess? Jo is happy that "Dud-can" appreciates her killer zingers. Courtney gets hurt again, and Mike jumps and pushes Gwen off with him. What a d1ck. But Zoey saves Mike by chucking rocks at Fang, and Courtney falls out of the cart. Heheh.
Lindsay collapses at the Spa Hotel from exhaustion due to having to push Miss Courtney, Her Fatness, and Sam and Heather jump. Heather makes a super unattractive face as she's underwater. and Sam is mauled by the sharks. Lindsay does some clumsy foreshadowing in the confessional as, back at the cliff, Lightning and Duncan try to pry Scott off a large rock to jump. Zoey jumps, and Lindsay slowly pushes her away. God, I love Chris's jetpack. However, the Villains end up pushing the Robot off the cliff, and there is a genuinely funny scene as the Robot beeps something that sounds like "Uh-oh" as it falls.
When it hits the water, the Robot is attacked by the sharks and explodes in a surge of energy, releasing Alejandro. GASP! IT'S NOT LIKE THIS WAS REVEALED IN SEASON 3, WHICH COMPLETELY RUINED THE SURPRISE! No, seriously, though, it would have been great if some random intern was in the Robot, and then Alejandro just walks up and goes, "Hey man that's MY robot!" Also, does Al have a beard growing OVER his soul patch? Heather flips out, and we hear Al's new voice. Alex House does an OK job, I guess. It's still taking some getting used to. Al grabs a key and reveals his legs don't work. Al says "wakey wakey." Al should never say "wakey wakey" ever again. It makes me shudder. and sounds really creepy. Also, dude, it's been WAYY more than a year you've been stuck in that young suit. If we go chronologically, Chris stated in the first episode of TDRI that a year passed since TDWT, and a year has passed since TDRI in this episode. That's TWO YEARS, writers. Did you never pass simple kindergarten math?
So, Lindsay sees Al and calls him "Jalapeño", another genuinely funny line. Al's key unlocks the Spa Hotel, and the Vultures win. God, I love Chris's jetpack.
At the elimination ceremony, Chris unveils a new edition, the Peanut Gallery, where the winning team can watch the losing team, which I really like. I also love the fact that it has a giant peanut on the front of it. Gwen tries to apologize by giving Courtney flowers, but she claims she's allergic to them and shoos Gwen away, saying that she knew Gwen was a villain. What a b!%ch. Chris also announces a new reward for the winners, a night on Boney Island to look for a McLean-Brand Chris Head for one person. Lightning volunteers, and Scott has a funny line I like the new style of voting, and Lindsay is predictably eliminated, even voting for herself. Lindsay has another funny line. Chris then unveils the new "-of Shame" elimination exit, the Flush of Shame, and Lindsay is flushed.
So overall, this was a good episode. Not great by any stretch of imagination (coughCourtneyandZekecough) but not terrible either, with a lot of great dialogue and great interactions between the old and new contestants. While this episode didn't exactly meet my expectations, it was still a great episode.
FINAL RATING: 8/10
- McLean-Brand Chris Head: Tonight, I've decided that two characters get the Chris Head: Scott, and surprisingly, Lindsay. Anyone who knows me knows I really dislike Lindsay, but here she really shown out, with lots of hilarious lines and funny interactions. Scott gets the Chris-Head as well for having several funny lines, as well has his hilariously crippling fear of sharks.
- Flush of Shame: Predictably, the Flush of Shame goes to Courtney. She was annoying, prissy, too grudge-holding, and overall ANNOYING AS ALL GETOUT.
So overall, thank you guys for reading my review of Heroes vs, Villains, and expect my review of Evil Dread soon.. I'm not exactly sure when, but soon.
Is that a wrap? Great. BOBBY, GO GET ME A BURGER AND MOUNTAIN DEW. NO, I DON'T WANT DIET, YOU IDIOT! DO I LOOK SKINNY?!