EDIT: This battle is now in video form at 
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!!!
… DARIA MORGENDORFFER!!!!
Dear diary, I'd like to write about today,
And how I sent this whiny hipster lame-o packing straight away!
I'll make this battle quick, seal your face with a kick,
Like the psycho killer. Come at me, Misery Chick!
You're a smug, obnoxious Mary–Sue,
And I'd rather share my quarters with Courtney than you!
Moping and doping, that's how all your time is spent.
And unlike you, I at least kissed my Trent!
You come from MTV? Your reputation must be poor,
When you share your station with Jersey–Freakin'–Shore!
So run home, Diarrhea, go make out with Jane,
Before I take this shovel to your spine and break you like Bane!
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