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I AM LEONARDO SILVER AND I AM REVIEWING TOTAL DRAMA ONE EPISODE AT A TIME

Yes that's right it's time for the first review by the Total Drama Review Guy (I also go by Fact Master, The Banana Duck, TDRG, Leo, Leonardo, Leonardo Von Baron the Fifth) ok nicknames aside let's begin with this godly like review let's begin shall we. Prepare for lots of sarcasm (shout of to my boy Noah) and the use of the word boy a lot.

So we begin with Chris saying the show is live (HOW DARE HE LIE TO THE THE GREAT NICHOLAS VON BARON THE FIFTH I SHALL STRIKE THEE) I don't know why but the first 2 episodes feel weird like it's hard to describe but it just feels off. Beth arrives and when I was younger and first watched this I was almost turned off by Beth I have come to terms she is just a meh character but this introduction got her sterotype across (Lots of sterotypes) in a few seconds. DJ arrives and is the first to complain about the camp (ingrate) and becomes a bit bitter but cools down. Gwen is here and rips about 100 pieces of paper in one go, who new she had the strength of Hulk and how did she not get paper cuts. So Gwen Hulk storms off and out comes Geoff who can do a 10 metre front flip while keeping his hat on, because.....hats have their own gravity. It's all right Gwen I would puke at someone saying man I prefer the word boy like my boy ZEKE (not yet but his coming). Chris the Liar is also a perv you're like 30 dude and she's 16. Heather is so mean she wears...sunglasses when it's not a hot day my god a true act of devilish nature. Duncan is such a rebel, he brings his own entrance music you know Duncan is such a rebel, he signed up for Club Penguin....without his parent's permission. Heather said drop dead, it seems evil but it's not as evil AS WEARING SUNGLASSES sorry I am still offended by how evil that was, way too evil. Kill it legs do not bend that way! LeShawna's bags are already there because.....she teleported. Anyway my boy Tyler is here and gives me a Terminator reference and Heather gets soaked in water (that's what you get). Harold doesn't complain thank god for Harold what a nice respectable young man I just wished he knew how to breathe correctly. Trent talks about Ice Skating (Because isn't that what all teens talk about) and goes onto to say Chris is a figure skater (Just like one of my boys) and Beth says one of them dropped their parter of their head. MY GOD JACQUES AND JOSEE KILL BETH SHE IS DISHING BOTH YOUR WORK. Wait Josee say it was in the Olympics so does that mean Chris was in the Olympics? Who would of guessed it. Jacques and Josee are not strangers to Game Shows cause Beth said they got immunity (What kind of Olympics is this) and Harold says he wants to be dropped on his head and so does Lindsay....My boy Harold and Lindsay I don't things look dark but don't self harm yourself it will be all right. Gwen and Trent's romance is so predictable I predicted in the first scene they were together. I think Bridgette's plan is to kill everyone with her surfboard.

The sarcastic one himself is here can I can a hooray silence. Duncan is such a rebel he doesn't need adult help to do piercing you know Dumcan is such a rebel he was suppose to go to bed at 7:30 and went to bed at 7:31 you know Duncan is such a rebel he ran a race the wrong way, backwards with earplugs (Brick: I don't know). LeShawna doesn't teleport after all and Harold has just got a new leash on life thanks to her. IT'S MY BOY ZEKE AND HE SEES A BIRD GOD BLESS MY BOY ZEKE AND HIS ZEKENESS. And please someone find a wall I can bash my head into I HATE KATIE AND SADIE STOP SCREAMING I WILL KILL YOU WITH FIRE DAMN IT. Cody has the ultimate walk and is all ready rejected I just know you want girlfriend badly Cody (I bet he can't wait until he gets one in World Tour). Eva is tough, tough as nail some might say but she's no rebel you know Duncan is such a rebel he ate a poisonous apple without any poison in it.

Owen hugs Chris so hard he snaps his back, Chris then collapse and is rushed to hospital he is found dead on arrival, Owen is then tried for Murder but is found innocent but is rejected by everyone he then buys a house by himself were he doesn't spend a second not thinking about how Chris might not of died and lives out his days alone. That got dark.

Courtney is here and isn't derailed yet (just you wait for All Stars) and then comes the gorgeous one JUSSSSSSSSTIN. Owen is so in love with Justin he will do anything to for Justin to notice him including.....murder (Damn it why do I have the urge to put Owen in a depressing story) Justin is the most super good looking piece of gorgeousness you uggos have ever seen. I still think if Izzy didn't fall off she wouldn't be crazy Izzy is my favourite female character and I LOVE HER I LOVE YOUR CRAZY IZZY I DIG CRAZY CHICKS.

So we get what else A PROMO PHOTO and Chris just stalls for time. Why does the Rebel Duncan said BUNKKKKKKKKK so oddly you know Duncan is such a rebel he had a choice to sleep on the ground or sleep on a soft bed and get one thousand bucks. AND THE REBEL CHOSE THE GROUND. Chris stop preving on Lindsay it's creepy. If Katie doesn't live with Sadie she'll die interesting please god let them be on different teams. Was it weird the first time I saw this Trent would be a villain and Gwen and Tyler would be the main couple. I know the Rebel Duncan is beating up a deer and you expect be to make a joke well......Duncan is such a rebel when everyone are picking flowers HE STOMPS ON THEM.

YES KATIE'S GONNA DIE. Ducks can put on lipstick who knew. Fart joke number one everyone. Cody you're being a stalker can't wait until season 3. Owen is acting gay he quickly becomes an outcast and....no more depressing stories. Cockroach are the natural enemy of the wild dumb blonde. We see in this scene she retreats to her mating stand also known as a stool and screams the wild DJ or ingrate also flees. A wild boy Harold tries to kill it but fails but then the cockroach is finally destroyed my it's greatest enemy an axe.

Damn it Tyler and Gwen will never happen. Chef is a badass. I swore I saw that food moving that food should be a contestant. They have to jump of a cliff why not and then they spoil the next episode because WHY NOT.

(Note: Boy is what I call an underrated character)

I would give this episode 8.8 out of 10 it was a really good introduction to the series and I'm looking forward to reviewing more of TDI through it is long please read I know you have nothing better to do.

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