Hi guys! River back and it's time for another review! Just a forewarning, I HATE Ezekiel. And I HATE mine challenges. Even though there was only one other. Manitoba was the only good part. So even though I typically give really good scores (9.1 on Regatta, where most averaged a 7), but this time there will be NO MERCY.
PREDICTIOIN: Mal's shoving someone into toxic waste
ACTUAL SHOW: We open with Al in his hot tub. Chris is STILL upset over his "cottage", and skinnydips with him. Okay. Al then finds the control room and sees Mal's footage, a glorious montage of his most dastardly deeds. WHERE WERE THE BRAIN SCENES? CHEF AND HIS EPIC DEFEAT ON BONEY ISLAND? Oh, and Mal blamed Al for the tampered-votes thing.
Cameron and Zoey play detective, with Mal egging them on. Mal looks where he hid the vote, and finds... nothing? After Cam finds the vote under Mal's bed, Mal uses his epic evil skillz to prove it wasn't him. Hey Al? "Anything you can do, I can do better?" Ah, the TDWT memories... And Cameron, the Lone Poodle.
QUICK AWARD BREAK: Scourtney's first kiss!
And Scott is just as lousy of a romantic person as Ron Weasley. And oh, hey, Mal? Scott and Courtney LOST last episode. Why would they be in the mansion?
HAPPY CENTEPISODEDAY EVERYBODY! Chris is kidnapped by Zeke... which brings this down to my least favorite episode already. I think this whole thing was planned. And everybody goes back to the MINE! Where they could possibly die from RADIATION!
Gwen's panicking and is probably having some sort of seizure, Scott's Dad went to Holland, and Mal, Cameron, Zoey, and Gwen all jump down a hole where they could POSSIBLY BREAK THEIR LEGS. And poor Al got his vintage leather boot stuck between some rocks.
Chris is dangling over a vat of toxic waste... but didn't the island get DE-TOXIFIED?! And the intern gets his own line. We're all proud of you, Intern #4327.
Zoey finds Gwen and her... bipolarness? MPD? Anyways, Gwen is either yelling at or hugging Zoey. Sweet. Mal has a plan for Camtney, and Al frees his boot. YOU DID IT! YAY! Ten points for Al!
Zoey is kidnapped by Zeke, and erm.... Gwen? You okay? I mean, you're having a seizure. Gwen? Meh. And Chef demonstrates his fetal position. You need some lessons from Gwen, man.
Mal and Cam fall down a hole, and we get CAMTNEY! IT'S OFFICIALLY A THING! Mal. Making and breaking relationships since 1994. Scott hates Courtney, and Chef is a huge fan of pistachio ice cream.
Scourtney is captured, and they find Zoey in a cage. The two have an argument, and Zoey is huddled in the corner. And you've been to WORSE PARTIES?!?!? HOW????
Cameron falls down ANOTHER hole, and Mal says he'll try to help Cameron. As if he's coming back. Al goes to help, tells Cameron about Mal without mentioning Mal, Cameron doesn't believe him, and Al leaves him for his doom. Al gets captured.
Zeke kidnapped the table too, apparently. Cameron falls, Gwen saves him, and Gwameron has a chance. And Mal gets caught. Sherlock Al comes into play in his "discussion" with Mal.
AND CHEF WINS THE GA- Or not. Gwameron goes to save Chris. Cameron gets hit by... missile vomit?! Gwen knocks Chris away from the vat, and Chris magically unties himself. In the confessional, Chris states "I'm NOT scared of Zeke." A few gargling, choking noises later, Mal has Chris running for the hills. And GWEN WINS!
Al goes to Boney Island, and Cameron is leaving due to injuries. Gwen says goodbye, and Mal OPENLY STATES IN HIS NORMAL, ECHOEY VOICE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE ELSE "Mike's not here. I'm Mal, and I let you fall."
-Scourtney... Up until the breakup
-NO LOGIC WHATSOEVER
BEST CHARACTER: Mal. What can I say, he's improving. He left Cameron to die in a pit, used his AWESOMENESS to avert himself from being framed for the vote-rigging thing, and he set up Camtney. Only bad thing is... we don't know what happened to Mike.
'WORST CHARACTER: 'Gwen. I am so sorry, but you were HORRIBLE. Talking to Zoey, then Cameron, then WHO ELSE?! Your OOCness is going out of control. And where did Gwentney go? Over the rainbow so Scourtney could have a turn.
FINAL SCORE: 7.9