Well let’s not waste time here. I’ve got a finale to get to!

This episode starts with a weird segment of Sugar trying to kill Sky. My guess is that the South made her too stupid to know anything about subtlety. Or maybe it’s this show.

Meanwhile, Shawn briefly laments the loss of Jasmine before coming to realize that now he can have the money all to himself. Um…I don’t think that’s what she meant, Shawn. I think she means that you have to split the money no matter how she turns out. But at least he doesn’t have to worry about her anymore. She’s no longer here.

The challenge is made up of three parts and each will be made up entirely by the contestants. And I’m not gonna lie, that’s kind of a good idea. Of course, everyone tries to make one that ultimately suits their strengths and exploit their weaknesses.

So after Chris murders a helpless intern, Sky’s challenge is selected and it’s a hurdle race. I thought she would have gone with a gymnastics routine, but whatever; she’s good at running too. Although this episode attempts suspense, the outcome is pretty much what you think it is. Sky wins and Sugar loses. Okay. Oh yeah, and Sugar’s from the South.

Next up is another race, only that this one involves climbing trees. Sugar’s bad at climbing, and Sky and Shawn seem pretty good at this thing, so you think Sugar’s gonna lose again.

You could also think this is gonna be a short episode because Sugar would be disqualified for being too far behind. Sky said it herself in the confessional.


Unfortunately it couldn’t be the case. If Sky won the challenge again and Shawn came in second, then if Sugar came in first at the next challenge, then she would be tied with Shawn at 5 even if he came in last in the third challenge. And considering that’s the best case scenario if Sugar lost, then it would still go on to the third challenge and possibly a tie-breaker.


I guess it didn’t matter because cartoon physics.

So Sugar climbed to the top of a tree and her weight caused the tree to sway until it was basically a projectile and that gave her a big enough launch to throw her to the finish line. What?

I know it’s a cartoon, but I hate it when cartoon physics are the deciding factor in challenges. It comes off as a deus ex machina which I hate so much! It’s not surprise or even suspense; it’s lazy and it was only done to force the third challenge which should have happened even if Sugar lost.

So because of this awfulness, we get to the talent show where Sugar is obnoxiously boasting about how she’s gonna win. Gee, I wonder where this is going.

Sky decides to show off her belching for some reason. What? Why not just do a gymnastics routine? Was it not allowed? If you said it was embarrassing, then why do it? Just get on some of those trees and do…gymnastics!

But anyway, it impresses the judges enough to at least get a cumulative of 24.5. Then Shawn goes up and he plays a song with his armpits. And I have to admit, it is kind of awesome. This reduces Chris to tears and he gets a 27. And then finally we get Sugar who has been talking about how good she is. Oh boy!

She attempts to rap and I guess also combine country and it’s hideous. But it’s okay because everyone else finds it ear-grating too and then she goes home. How predictable.

There’s not a lot I can say about this episode. But don’t let my brevity deceive you. This episode did have good moments. Like I said, I did like Shawn’s armpit thing. But…this is one of those episodes that I find it difficult to go on for. All I can say is that this episode is predictable to a painful degree. And I guess that’s about it.

Tune in to the Pahkitew Island finale, though! Who will win? What will become of everything now that it’s coming to an end?

Find out next time on React! Ion Blog!....oh…there’s supposed to be more here…I guess I didn’t think this through…


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