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I’m back….

Oh…it’s over.

But it’s okay, because I will make it my duty to overdose on this thing called Pahkitew Island. As I’m writing this, I have yet to see the future episodes. I’m taking it an episode at a time to produce a full, proper reaction blog. When I’m done with everything, I will post everything at once. I’m not visiting this wiki ‘till then because spoilers are bad.

What am I doing?

This episode has Jasmine sleeping in a tree as opposed to the treehouse that she designed. Why you may ask? Because the place is being overrun with red ants…and she doesn’t tell anybody…until they’re covered with ants…’kay.

Meanwhile, Dave and Sky try to get it on. Sky dreams of Dave being…I don’t any famous bodybuilders…and Dave tries to take advantage of Sky when she gets some blueberry all over her face. Those must be some oozing berries. Sugar tries to be little bad girl because she thinks that the kissy means alliance and alliance means death.

Um…you do realize that there are four people on the team. Even if Dave and Sky did form an alliance, Sugar could team up with Shawn to force a tie (the voting system is based on a plurality).

Oh wait…she does try to do something with Shawn but he’s like ZOMBIE! I’ll just assume that he didn’t learn anything from Jasmine about creating emotional connections with others. But there’s also the argument that Jasmine’s pig-headedness destroyed what little trust he had of human bonding. I’ll leave the choice up to you.

So we get a Southern joke that I think is supposed to be funny and then we get to the challenge. You gotta get inside a comically-sized hamster ball that makes Jasmine turn into a ball because she’s got claustrophobia. Say…doesn’t Australia have caves? Jasmine’s supposed to be an outdoors(wo)man. You’re telling me that she’s never been in some sort of tight space while camping…or hunting…or something? Or at the very least, being alone in the dark or something? For someone like you, that’s pretty surprising.

So they get in the ball and they fall into a cave and it turns out that’s not the challenge. Instead they have to get out of the cave by taking a number of paths. They planned to go together, but Jasmine and Sugar screw everything up; causing the pit to cave in and everyone to split up.

They go on to have some misadventures. We get several more ship teases that do nothing but get old. It takes two seconds to kiss someone! Just kiss him/her already! And Sugar just needs to shut up!

We get this thing where they have to get through this gem part of the cave without stealing anything and then the bear gets angry because Shawn stole something. We find out about it in a confessional, but how did Shawn get part of a gem? How did he get such a big piece? Why did he steal it in the first place? The closest thing we get is after the bear roars and we see Shawn’s hands clench up. But we never saw them move before the bear roared. So how did he get it? Also, isn’t he supposed to be on top of his game? He clearly doesn’t care about Jasmine anymore and he thought an alliance would be dangerous, so why did he do something so stupid so blindly?

Anywho, we get this thing where Scarlett is trying to get Max voted off by making him act stupid and it seems to actually benefit the two of them when a crocodile he tried to train turned out to just be a machine. Scarlett then decides to construct some remote control by herself to get on an elevator. Why did she do that? If they lost because of that, then Max could use her actions as leverage to get her voted off. Great idea honey!

So in the end, we get some stuff that leads to everyone getting to Chris personally. Chris then berates them for not crossing the finish line even though he said that all the pathways led to a single exit. Um…were those not the single exits you were talking about? I get the elevator, but you said all the paths led to a single exit; you know, where the finish line would be. Was there anywhere else for the others to go in order to get out? But I guess it makes sense because the exits are different, but then Chris brings up another point. He said that they skipped obstacles that would have led to an interesting episode. Opps!

Because of their mishap, everyone has to go to elimination. But instead of competitors being eliminated, the reward gets thrown out. And it looks like for once, it was actually something nice. Was this all planned? Did Chris set it up so that both teams would lose beforehand? What a jerk! But then the ship tease is obliterated when Chris splits up Sky and Dave to go on opposite teams.

And then the episode ends.

Overall, there isn’t too much I can say about this episode. The whole alliance thing is…eh…and the shipping teases were annoying and forced throughout this episode. Despite that, I did like how Sky and Dave were separated before their love could blossom. That’s something new! Do I like this episode? In some respects, I did. But on the whole, this episode is just…average.

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