We have made it to the Final Four and it looks like our competition was completely unexpected. We have Jasmine (didn’t see that coming), Sky (hmm…), Sugar (umm…), and Shawn (those were some tight eliminations he got out of) and we’re ready to dive into this episode of Pahkitew Island.

So it looks like this season has bought into the idea that love means alliance as Sky thinks that since Jasmine and Shawn are dating, there’s an alliance that’s out to get her. To her, the only option at this point is to get Sugar to create some form of tiebreaker in the case of a vote. The only problem is, Sugar is freakin’ disgusting. Right now, she’s eating a cabbage so that she could…recreate the Cannon of Shame? Well gee…um…’kay.

Meanwhile, Shawn and Jasmine are in the midst of a glorious picnic where one of Jasmine’s personas fell for him with absolutely no debate with herself. Whatever happened to that? And believe it or not, she’s so confident in Shawn that she expects him to split the money if he wins. I guess she also realized that last time she didn’t tell Shawn her expectation, so she did it this time. Anyway, Shawn is uncomfortable with this because even though he loves her, zombies are still his top concern. And apparently, he needs the entire million in order to build some sort of zombie bunker. And it really makes me think whatever happened to putting money towards college. But then again, Shawn probably has the worst parents in the world for not putting his zombie fears to rest or figuring out what is wrong with their son.

So it looks like the Final Four have to climb a mountain. It was originally named Mount McLean by Chris, but then it was changed to Mount Everfast? What?

And what’s the point of elimination? The last person up goes home no matter what!

So Sky rushes Sugar along to help the two of them secure their spot in the Final Three. And then we find out Sky’s reason for playing. Apparently, she wants to use the money to hire world-class Olympic trainers so that she can go to the Olympics. Makes sense…but…you’re not even gonna think-

Whatever! It’s Olympics!

Sugar then gets a bloody nose for some reason and then for some reason we have this homemade video of Sugar doing something stupid. I don’t get it. After all the confessionals that are similar to the one Sugar just made, why of all times do they have these videos now? What were you going for?

So Jasmine and Shawn are at this lava pit and Shawn freezes in fear when he sees robot crocodiles. Chris then says that only happens in cartoon. Get it. Because…he said cartoon…and it’s supposed to be their reality…but to us…it’s a cartoon. Get it!

And Jasmine has one of her home videos show up. Something about a cat. And I still don’t get why we’re doing this. It makes no sense.

Anyway, Jasmine snaps Shawn out of it with she kisses him and he jumps onto one of the greased rocks which causes him to nearly fall to his death. Good thing Jasmine’s there to save him. And then he returns the favor when she gets hit by a log thing. But I guess she’s temporarily incapacitated.

After that, not much happens except for Shawn and Jasmine trying to climb the side of the mountain. Jasmine falls and lands on Sky and Sugar below. Good thing their cartoons and not actual people. Because then, all three of them would be dead. And then the season would be over. And Shawn would have the money all to himself.

Shawn gets to the top and has to get a flag but is interrupted by a robot crocodile that can play music. He gets the flag, but is eaten, but then the crocodile dances, and the robot explodes, and Shawn’s okay. And now the race is on for the other three girls to get to the top.

On the high tail, we have Sky use one of the flying crocodiles to fly to the top. You should have really thought this through Chris. And then Sugar knocks a tree onto Jasmine. And because of that, Sky breaks and confesses that she doesn’t care if the numbers wouldn’t be in her favor.

So even though Sugar is only halfway up this really big mountain, it only takes her fat self ten seconds to get to the top. Why couldn’t Jasmine break out of the tree and race against her? Because that would make the race a close one and we don’t want to give our audience a heart attack!

So yay, Jasmine goes home. I guess she wasn’t saving the day after all. And that’s the end.

Overall, this episode doesn’t have as many deductions as the previous episode. Granted, we do have a lack of tension, random home videos, and Jasmine’s inconsistent character, but I can’t blame this episode too much. Shawn would have been an obvious choice to pick off. Sugar could have been too because she does nothing, but I guess the writers think she’s too funny to let go just yet. I am glad that they chose Jasmine. It’s quite a surprise and I’m glad they didn’t choose her as a goddess that always avoids elimination. Besides, I do think she deserved it in some respect.

Only two episodes left!

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