Let's wrap up Total Drama All-Stars with this "epic" conclusion of the season:
Episode 106: The Final Wreck-ening (*cries while saying title*) :'''''''''''''''''''(
Premise: Mike and Zoey face off in the final two and Zoey begins to lose hope that Mike will ever come back.
Challenge Based On: None
Challenge: Moats of Doom (first level: radioactive waste to reference Revenge of the Island, second level: lava to reference World Tour, third level: water to reference Island, fourth level: Mad King Chef and sword to reference Action)
Winner(s): Mike; Zoey (for being first to get the sword out of the stone)
My Favorite Part: Mike and Zoey's first kiss
The Final Wreck-ening is the perfect sounding title for this episode. Because this episode is a COMPLETE trainwreck. In case you guys were wondering why Sundae Muddy Sundae isn't my most hated episode. That's because to me, THIS episode is. This is the worst episode of Total Drama I've ever seen. Period. I'm dead serious, this was the episode that almost made me give up on the show. The first time I watched this episode, I just said, "Okay, I'm done. No more Total Drama. This show is not the show that I remembered anymore. They've clearly given up." (thankfully Pahkitew Island made me change my mind).
Before we get into how awful this finale is, let's talk about the good stuff. Well, I liked when Mike and Zoey kissed and when Heather and Alejandro were about to make out in the confessional and Chris gets grossed out. Owen water-skiing at the end was kinda fun and mad king Chef was funny along with the oven mitten gag. And......that's about it. Now, let's get into the BAD.
Where do I even begin with how awful this thing is? Well, in the beginning of this episode, we get a painful reminder of how clueless Zoey was throughout the season when she looks through footage and says that Mike was Mal longer than she thought. There's that. And, not to mention the unnecessary cruelty that Chris put the eliminated contestants through by putting them in fart balloons blown by Owen. Oh yeah, and over half of the contestants fly away towards the sun, except for Gwen, Cameron, Heather, and Alejandro. That means: NONE OF JO'S GRAY SWEATPANTS (not even a lint on her pants!), NO SHA-SEXY BEAST, NO BEAUTIFUL LINDSAY, NO BUBBLY SIERRA, NO LAZY GAMER SAM, NO RESOLUTION TO SCOTTNEY, DUNCNEY, GWUNCAN, AND GWENTNEY WHATSOEVER! Ugh, I'm so aggravated right now. Oh yeah, did I mention that Chris said that people were gonna die? Ugh, I hate Chris so much. I just want Dakotazoid to jump on screen and eat him up. Or see his guts fly in the air as he's being shredded by the Escaped Psycho Killer with a Chainsaw and a Hook. But I digress. Then, Heather and Alejandro, the most strategic contestants of the game, are reduced to a lovey-dovey couple. Don't get me wrong. I adore Aleheather, but turning them into that was taking things way too far. But I will admit that it was pretty funny seeing them about to make out in the confessional, only to get interrupted by Chris. Oh yeah, did I mention that Mike cures his MPD with a RESET BUTTON?! A RESET BUTTON!!!!! Okay, my anger is getting the best of me now. But that is NOT how you cure a disorder! That resolution is not only going to offend people suffering from MPD, but any disorder or disability period. I have a friend with mild ASD who's a Total Drama fan and was very offended by that ending. It's like asking a kid, "Hey kid! What's the matter? Suffering from autism? OCD? Depression? Don't worry! Just push a reset button and poof! You'll be like everyone else!" No no no! That is not how this works! Disorders/disabilities can be managed through therapy and treatment, but they CANNOT be eliminated from the person's brain. To cure such a case, you would have to go back in time into an individual's mind and make it develop differently. In addition, no matter how severely you are affected with a mental condition, it is NEVER your entire person. This was so offensive and such an anti-climactic way to end Mal's plot. Not to mention how much I'm going to miss Chester, Svetlana, Vito, and Manitoba. Mal...not so much. Mike also isn't going to be too interesting on his own IF he ever competes, which I doubt he will considering the amount of flak the Fresh people got. But it was nice seeing Mike and Zoey kiss when they get reunited and then Heather and Alejandro make out to annoying Chris. Gwen kissing Cameron....do not approve of. Where's Trent when you need him? I want Gwen and Trent back together! But I digress. And no hard feelings Mike, but Zoey did much more than you all season, even though she was more irritating. So, Zoey deserves the million over you. Is that all the damage the writers can do? Nope! They decide to give us another slap in the face by destroying Camp Wawanakwa, where the show's most cherished memories took place and where the show began. And the butler died! And no Mike, I don't want to do this again sometime. And no guys, a fracking machine doesn't sink an island. Do your research and get your physics right rather than trying to break all the laws of physics at once. And Chris doesn't get any comuppance in the end on top of all of this. And the RCMP doesn't hunt him down either. On top of all the other problems, this episode has no comedy nor excitement. The challenge was also very boring. This is very much a BAD episode and I hope that I never have to see this terrible, terrible finale ever again. One more thing is that the episode also ends with Owen falling off water skiis after the island has been destroyed. What a wonderfully fitting way for this season to end.
And THAT is every SINGLE episode of Total Drama All-Stars reviewed. I'll see you all tomorrow with my seasonal review.