This article/section features spoilers. Continue reading at your own risk.
Ok, so with the new episode airing tonight, I'm going to try and get these 2 reviews over with before tomorrow so that after I have the new episode done, I can relax until next week (Oh wait, I have to do the first 3 episodes too, don't I). So let's begin with Moon Madness
The episode opens with Duncan, Camody and Zoey enjoying their gourmet breakfast (dinner?). Gee, I wonder where Mike is, certainly that mysterious eyeball under the stairs isn't him is it?
Anyway, Camody, being his adorkable self, trips over air. His glasses break and tape magically appears on them. In a shocking twist, The All-Seeing Redhead reveals that it was in fact Mike who tripped up Camody, only it was actually his evil alter-ego, The Malevolent One!
Sierra thinks she and Cody are invisible (Of course Cody isn't. Didn't you see him over there, you know, the guy with the broken glasses). And to make sure she isn't she bursts Zoey's eardrums, and thanks her for being her guinea pig.
Meanwhile, Heather and Alejandro are practising what breakfast will be like before they have children. Alejandro leaves because Heather is being Heather. (No argument from me)
No one has ever lost intrest in me!
That's because nobody ever was intrested in you!
Courtney discovers a bird that was engineered with Scott's DNA (Probably the mean parts, no wonder he's so nice this season). She then realises she loves him. (Yes, put my 2 least favorites in a corner and let them quietly make out for eternity, then they won't bother me)
Wait, if the sun is setting, does that mean it's only getting dark now? Has it been a whole day since the last challenge? Was Scott on Boney Island all day and all night? How come he gets extra time?
Chef hears Courtney's cries of despair and fetches her crush for her. Their steamy reunion is interrupted by Chris (You were about to get some gold on Camera, they've gotta be about 20 now, It's legal!)
Scott admits he likes taking orders (Wow, he's perfect for Courtney) and the challenge begins.
Mike, why'd you break my glasses?
Subtle Camody, subtle
I wouldn't even trust Camody to keep my precious doll collection a secret. (Wait, did I just type that? Oops)
Anyway, the moon turns blue and the animals get all angry. Mike turns into Mal and he reveals that he in fact can speak full sentences.
Hi, I'm a bug-eyed weirdo and everybody loves me!
It's kinda weird how Mal is insulting Mike's eyes, and yet they share a body, so they have the same eyes.
So, Heather's nice now? Ok.... that's not creepy at all.
So, Heather does questionable things with an alligator/crocodile (Am I the only one that can't tell the difference? I'm not the best at Biology after all) while the other villains are so shocked. (Courtney's freckles even fell off she was so afraid)
Sierra defends Camody from Angry Birds while our loveable dork facing identity crisis runs from his captor.
Scott is murdered by bunnies.
Zoey's heroic boyfriend abandons her while she is being attacked by a duck. (Seriously, Mike! How could you leave Zoey with such a deadly creature?) Zoey's duck likes bacon hats.
Heather finishes doing questionable acts to a crocodile and skips away with her team, happy as a queen of mean on ecstasy.
Courtney's run is so weird.
Mal launches Camody into the woods because he doesn't like smart people.
Gwen ditches her team because she secretly doesn't want to be on a small bridge with Courtney.
Besides, if you don't come with us, we'll miss you so much!
Is this episode nearly over yet? Heather's scaring me!
Mal thinks Duncan is smart too so he eliminates him. Too bad Sierra found Camody, Duncan needs someone to keep him company in his shallow grave.
Is it just me, or does Mike's magical hair always flop down when he does something evil? Or does Mal just need more hair gel?
Scott heas the bunnies coming, so he runs across the bridge casually and calmly, soon to be followed by his team.
Whew! Heather was faking it!
So a beaver flips us off and parachutes down a canyon. Ok?
Duncan still likes Courtney? WHAT!? NO! If they get back together I will tell Mal they're both straight A students and then who'll be laughing?
So, the heroes realise the bridge is bro- Oh my god Zoey turn around! Your evil boyfriend is going to murder you!
Phew, Sierra saved Zoey's life.
File:Mike Kills Zoey.pngRight, right! I'm an idiot
At least we know Mal isn't suicidal.
Mal tries moving in on Mike's woman by looking at her butt.
It's amazing how Courtney is so judgemental about people throwing challenges. Hypocrite...
Gwen saves Courtney from a deer, but Courtney still hates her. (WHYYYYY!?)
How did I get here?
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The villains win because Mike is recovering from a drug high or something.
Ugh! I can't do this anymore! It's over!
What? What!? After all the drama it caused, Gwuncan just breaks up? Just like that!? Seriously?
Well, things can't get any worse toni- Camody's switching teams!?
Ok, so nobody went home. I'm pretty ticked now so I'm just gonna rate it quickly before I get murderous
I give this episode a 5. Yep, 5!
I give a Flush of Shame to Sierra because she won't leave poor Camody alone!
I give a Boney Island Exile to Heather because she scared the crap out of me.
Tune in later for episode 6 and tune in tomorrow for You Regatta be Kidding Me