Welcome to the first of many, er... blogs? Of me reviewing Total Drama All-Stars episodes! Since I'm not a normal person, I'm starting off with episode 4. I'll do the other 3 eventually. Anyway, despite being a TD fan since mid-late TDA, I'm not quite familiar with the writers. So Laurie Elliott writing this didn't phase me like everyone else.

The episode begins with the usual recap and painfully short intro. We then see a rainy view of the camp. (I know, weather exists in the TD world). Chef, being the gourmet hotel chef he is, storms in and serves his guests with powdered gruel. Since there is nowhere on the island for the villains to actually sit and eat their breakfast they must eat it in their cabins. Scott visits the girls and takes food from Courtney's face and then eats it. Boy, you don't know where that face has been. He then proceeds to flirt with her, because nothing says sexy like being covered in powdered gruel. Courtney decides that she needs to be social for a change, because, as it turns out, winning the game actually does involve making friends.

The heroes, being nice people, give Duncan a surprise welcome party (I'm hoping that noise Zoey made before the lights were turned on was a laugh). 

It was like eating the happiest day of my life!

Nobody can resist cake. Especially cake made in a spa hotel.

Duncan on team hero. The fans will lose it!

Oh, they have, for all the wrong reasons.

Am I the only one who wanted to hear the welcome son-

AAAAAAH! My Social Media machine! It's in pieces!

FYI, mashing the keyboard and yelling 'Hello? Hello!" won't fix your phone, trust me, I know from expierience.

Anywho, Mike showcases his freakishly long fingers in the confessional and we see The Malevolent One crush Sierra's phone. (Seriously, that dude is strong!) Then we are shown the second most disturbing part of the episode.


The scariest part is Sam's neck....

It's bad enough that Sierra thinks Cameron is Cody. No she thinks she's on a team of Codies. Also, the blue-shirted Cody needs to wear some more sunscreen on his arms.

We then see Gwen in the confessional, crying because Courtney hates her. (If I were Gwen, I wouldn't bother with that Bit- er.... Banana? And of course Courtney was eavesdropping. Hold on, what was she doing there anyway, she didn't have anything to say besides what she just heard in her confessional immediatly after, so did she just go to the confessional hoping to hear somebody talking about her *cough* insecure *cough*.

And then the rain clears. (What was the point in it anyway? Were the animators letting us know that weather exists in the TD universe?

And of course, Cameron is brought back from Boney Island with a suspicious urine-y smell to him. Hold on, why is there a fire hydrant on Boney Island?

Sierra twerk- I mean twerts (Bad choice of words, script writers) about Cameron being stinky, because it reminds her of Cody. (Was that a compliment?) And the challenge finally begins. (I want that giant pancake recipe!)

They brought back the Mad-Skills course! Hold on, bouncy butts? I thought they were boxing gloves!!

Heather and Courtney make another fake deal. Just watch Picnic at Hanging Dork and you'll know what I'm talking about.

So after some stuff happens, Mike turns rebel and sets the Spinner to Kill (Whoever built it, why?) And gets Courtney flung into a tree. Which I will not argue with because she had that coming for quite a while.

Seen future. Must. Stop. Eating cake.


Yes, before you say anything, I dodged Duncan's purple lips because I wasn't all that phases by it, the scariest part of the episode is coming up in just a momo.

And here it is, the scariest part of the episode:

You are not going to win


Honestly, after eating giant panacakes and being spun in a death-set salad spinner, was anyone really in the mood to look at Sam's ass crack? 

And of course in a Justin-style defeat, Alejandro is brought down by a sting to his sexy cheek. His poor cheek.


Aaah, my sexy cheek!

So, the villains have lost again. 

Or have they? Because Sam thinks his team are evil, he stole a bit of pancake (which is the size of a normal pancake) so he can eat it. I swear, if they had replaced him with Owen, this scene would have made more sense.

Anyway, the heroes actually lose and the villains actually win. Of course, Scott is the one who volunteers for Exile duty and also of course, Sam is eliminated. Big shocker.

Time to score it:

I give it 7/10 because I want more Evil Mike, The heroes wouldn't be cruel enough to send him back to Boney Island, he almost won the challenge for them after all.

I give a Flush of Shame to Sam because he was stupid

I give a Boney Island Exile to Courtney because she's Courtney

Sometime this week: Blue Harvest Moon/Moon Madness (whatever it's called)

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