OK, so this is my first blog, so I thought that the best way to start it is by reviewing! I initially thought about reviewing each and every episode of Pahkitew Island, but was way too busy until now, so I guess this will be a review trilogy! What I'm going to do is review episodes 1-5 in one part (this one), 6-9 in another and 10-13 in last one. Spoilers below, if you haven't seen any of first 5 episodes, don't read any further, but as I've never seen Italian version, I can't really spoil the other ones, so people who've seen it in Italian, please don't spoil in the comments. Warning: This is gonna be a very long review, so I'm not to blame, if you fall asleep, and a burglar comes into your house and steals your panda plush. Either way. let's get this "party" started!
So, yes, I will review everything from characters in to characters out, challenges, interactions, eliminations and so on and so forth. Right now, we are 5 episodes in, and 5 contestants are out. So we have met 14 characters: Sky, Ella, Max, Amy, Samey, Beardo, Dave, Leonard, Sugar, Jasmine, Scarlett, Topher, Rodney and Shawn. They were then split into two teams: Pimapotew Kinosewak and Waneyihtam Maskwak, Ok, I don't know how Fresh Tv even came up with that, I know it's Cree, but it seems like elf language more, tbh. So, first we'll be talking about challenges. So far, all episodes in this season have only had 1 challenge each, kind of like most episodes of TDI. Speaking of TDI, so far all the challenges have been pretty normal. No strange moon phenomena, no mutant gophers, not even a laser squirrel! I'm not saying that I hate gimmicky challenges, but TDRI was way too gimmick-centered. THe challenges were in order from 1st to 5th: building your own shelter, greasy obstacle course, fight with balloons filled with God-knows-what, truth or dare-like challenge and umm, making 3 X-s with sticks? Of course, some people might say that they like originality, but they are just fine with me, plus I started reviewing with challenges, because, forme, personslly, they are not that important, character devlopement and plot are so much more important to me, All in all, they were good, and gave some funny moments, as well as helped some character interactions develop. About plot, well just as always a bunch of teens competing for 1 million dollars, but now, the season is even more Survivor-like, they have to build their own shelter and look for food, too bad that last one gives even less screen time to Chef. There were some twists like Amy being eliminated instead of Samey and then returning. Yes, talking about eliminations, this season some were pretty good, like the infamous Amy's elimination! Probably best since like, I don't know, end of TDWT? Others were kind of predictable, even though I kinda wanted Leonard to be out first instead of Beardo, he deserved it more, he was out next episode anyway. Rodney's elimination could be predicted from like first 5 minutes or so? As well as Samey's in latest episode, of course from first glance Jasmine deserved it more, but they couldn't let her go that fast. So yes, let's now discuss eliminated contestants and see if I wa sright in my ranks, which I did before the show.
Beardo - Alright, everyone knew he'd go home first, due to leaked script of episode 1. That's why in my rank I placed him 14th, as he is in the show indeed. He could go farther if he had personality and spoke. Though his audition telling that he doesn't speak because he's shy made me a little sad. And Sugar totally deserved to be blamed for farting, for everything she's doing right now, good job Beardo
Leonard - Probably the most annoying contestant after Sugar (oh, do I hate Sugar)! Deserved to go first. I'm all for LARP-ing, but this was getting ridiculous! My rank was 11th-13th, so yes, second score for me!
Rodney - Yeah, talk about annoying! Here's our third most annoying contestant, good thing is that he just barely outstayed his welcome. His falling in love with every girl was funny at first, but it got old faster than feral Zeke. I'll give him credit for calling Sugar deranged though. My rank for him was actually pretty high afterthe leaked script, as I thought he would be in love with Jasmine (which he was, but I thought she'd like him too), so I gave him 4th-7th, too bad.
Amy/Sammy - Twins were entertaining, but I kind of expected more from them. I, like many others, thought that Sammy would go early, and Amy would stay really long, no. Unfortunately, both of them got the boot pretty early. What Sammy did was a great twist, though I kinda expected Amy to do such thing, so my rank for Sammy was 10th-13th, and 1st-4th for Amy, well 3/5 for me.
Now, about characters who are still in, here are my ranks after the leaked script and after these 5 episodes
Dave - I really expected him to be the new Noah, but too bad for me he is just a hypochondriac and germophobe, he gets compared to Mike too much by my sister for my liking. I kinda ranked him 1st-4th and thought that he'd be in the final two after the leak, butnow I think he'll not go that far so it's now 3rd-6th. His interactions with Sky, Ella and Shawn are pretty interesting. It seems like there is going to be a love triangle soon hmm... I like how it's not love from first glance, like Zoke. And Sky isn't even sure if she likes him or not.
Sky - Sky however does not really excite me that much, yes, their relationship is cut, but hat is basically it, she just like Zoey only interacts with Dave, I feel her and Ella could be friends, but with this triangel, I don't know. I gave her ranking 5th-7th, because I kinda expected her to go sooner thn Dave, and I will raise it a bit noe 3rd-6th, as now I am not sure who'll make it farther.
Jasmine - Yeah continuing on topic of relationships, Jasmine and Shawn's one is much edgier for me. Plus with this newborn conflict, I don't see these two going soon. Jasmine is so far my most favourite 3rd generation cast member, she's like what Courtney fans always say she is. Competitive! But not Coutney or Jo-like competitive, competitve in a good way, not crossing the border to manipulaive, she's good at challenges, so she does not need alliances and cheating, if she's about to get eliminated , she admits defeat, so she has pride. Even with all that,she's still a human being, her friendship with Sammy was great, she was like a sister to "a lesser Amy", a sister she wanted, at least. I'm getting real fanboyish, so I should probably move on to rankings. Defining a rank at first, was pretty tough, she was seen as a strong competitor, but her bossiness could annoy her teammates. I gave her a middle position 5th-7th, thinking that she'd make the merge, but be eliminated soon after that. Right know my ranking is 1st-4th.
Shawn - Everything about his relationship with Jasmine has been said, it's weird, quirky, and will have to go through some obstacles. His friendship-ish with Dave seems interesting, and my, oh my, do I expect even more zombie and survival show references! I actually thoght after the leak, that he will be a gimmicky charcter and won't make it to the merge, 7th-10th, but now I think he's got all chances to win this thing! 1st-4th
Topher - Actually, I'm not sure why Topher is still in the game. The only person he ever interacts with is Chris! And he barely even competes in the challenges. I thought that I'd like him better. Even though his interactions with Chris leave me guessing how will this all end. i mean, Topher wants to be the new host, cause Chris is already old. What if Topher is the host of Ridonculous Race? OK, I know it probably won't happen, but I can dream. When I learnt that Topher is a fan of Chris, I thought that he could be a minor antagonist, but he actually seems pretty bland... I thoguht that he would make it far, like Sierra, so for me his rank was 1st-5th, now I place him 7th-9th.
Max - When I saw Max in the leaked script, I knew from the first second, he would annoy me, but i kinda like him now. He doesn't annoy me nearly as much as Sugar and his interactions with Scarlett are interesting. Too bad she's the only one who he interacts with. His inventions are interesting, but it seems that Scarlett is much smarter than him. Even though some people I talked with told me that he was the main antagonist, I was like seriously? He is totally a comic relief!And he's not that bad actually. After the leaked script, I gave him the 5th-8th rank, now I will most likely not change it so yeah, 5th-8th again. Mostly because Scarlett is now angry with him for making her a sidekick, so she might just get him out.
Scarlett - Yup, i kind of already told everything about her, while describing Max: she is really smart and sarcastic and... and... wait, that's it. She kinda lacks depth if you ask me, she's just a nerd. Hmm... I think there might be something interesting about her, I don't know, actually, maybe there will be some rivalry between her and Max. Honestly, when I read the script, I put her on 7th-9th, now someting tells me that she'll make it far, some of you might disagree, but 1st-4th.
Ella - Oh, Ella. You can't imagine, how complicated my relationship with heris. For me, she's just standing on this border between adorable and annoying. And she was crossing it in first 2 episodes. Gott tell you, Idid watch first 2 episoes in Italian, and she had a very beautiful voice, somehow in American version it gets annoying really fast. But after Chris stopped her singing in episode 2, she became much better. I feel like she's slowly becomingone of my favourites. Too bad that "the pageant queen" really hates her. Ella, stop trying to be liked by this meanie! Also love triangle might be interesting. I initially gave Ella 10th-13th position, but now it is 8th-9th. I know I still predict her to go soon, but if you ask me, even with all conflicts and love triangles, Ella still won't make it to the merge, imo.
Sugar - Yes, as you see, I saved "the best" for last. Let's just have a little flashback... Remember, that Pahkitew Island poster that came out even before a trailer for this abomination we call All Stars? Remember, when many designs were kinda strange, but one stood out the most? Yeah, that last one, with yellow background, looking all deformed or something... I thought that this was Chef's and Sasquachanakwa's baby competing. But no, it was even worse, it was Sugar. SUGAR!!!!!! It's like they took all the likeability and funniness out of Owen, leaving only strange eating habits and, I bet, she's going to fart sometime soon. Then, they added hate towards animals (I'm sorry snake! No one should have such a fate as getting that close to her face), did you see what she did to that monkey in a trailer for next episode? Also unnecessary rudeness and hate to Ella, who just wants to be her friend? Ugh. Also this accent, I think I finally start understanding her. No offence to all you, southern people, but it is so thick. I feel lik I understood her more in those 2 episodes in Italian. Or maybe I don't understand her because of her pageant talk? OK, Sugar I firmly believe you suck! My ranking of her after the leaked script was 10th-13th, now it's 7th-9th.
So yes here, are my overall rankings after the leaked script: 14th:Beardo; 13th:Leonard; 12th:Ella; 11th:Sammy (originally Amy, but switched); 10th:Sugar; 9th:Shawn; 8th:Scarlett; 7th:Max; 6th:Jasmine: 5th:Sky; 4th:Rodney; 3rd:Topher; 1st/2nd: Dave/Amy
Here are my rankings of top 9 as of now: 9th:Ella; 8th:Sugar: 7th:Topher: 6th: Max; 5th:Dave; 4th:Sky; 3rd: Scarlett; 1st/2nd: Shawn/Jasmine. Yes, I know another couple finale, but I want it, I can dream!
So yes, overall these 5 episodes were pretty enjoyable, sorry if you did not like this review and spent several minutes of your life on this. Ranking for first five episodes: 8.5/10. I feel this is going to be a good season!
Best episode (out of 5): I Love You, Grease Pig!
Worst episode: Hard to pick they are all good! I'll say A Blast from the Past, but it is really good, actually (better than half of All Stars anyway)
So, if you read this to the end, congratz! Get yourself a cookie, you deserve it! It is though not as long as I thought it would be, and it turned out to be more of a prediction, than a review, but so what? I am rock star! *his glasses shatter*, ok, whatever, See you next time on Total Drama ULTIMATE REVIEW!!! (wow, not as bad of a name as I thought)! *static*