9: Nobody Really Develops


In a season with such an extravagant title, it barely really holds much significance to the show. By this, I mean that none of the characters really learn anything from their experience.

Lindsay was too dumb, Lightning was pretty much the same, Jo was slightly dumber, Sam was the same but whinier, Aleheather does technically count as development but it was still a bit ambiguous for Alejandro and Heather at the end, Sierra didn't learn to cope without Cody, Duncan was about to develop only to go back to square one, Cameron was too dumb, Courtney was about to develop only to go back to square one, Scott was mostly comic relief, and Gwen's "redemption" just can't be counted as development. All it was was Gwen complaining about how she's undeservingly called a villain and it drags, and don't even get me started on Gwentney.

As for Mike and Zoey, geez-us, it's a complete rehash of their ROTI plot. Mike has trouble with his personalities and he doesn't actually come clean with Zoey and is also a dummy because he still hasn't got mental help and is on Total Drama for some reason, while Zoey is once again not asking Mike questions about his odd behavior and has expecations that are too high about him. A ROTI redo... is the main focus of the season.

So my point here is basically that you combine all of these All-Stars from multiple seasons, but you could take this season out entirely, and nothing would change. In addition to no character developing, it's all the more infuriating with Sierra, Duncan, Courtney, Gwen, and Zoey because it looks like their development is going somewhere but it never does. And the storylines picked for characters are not only pointless, but even though they're pointless, they draaaag.

Did I really have to keep watching Sierra be even more annoying and CONSTANTLY mention Cody in EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE?! Did I really need to see Duncan be prissy for so long only for him to prove that he'll never change? Did I really need Courtney to look like a finalist, have tons of plot involvement with everything going on, only to randomly go TDA on me? Did I need this new weird girly whiner who coincidentally looks and sounds like Gwen? Did I really have to see Scourtney have a positive start only to fluctuate its quality horribly and be one of the only things Scott even does in his long run? DID I HAVE TO WATCH ZOEY SCREAM "MIKE!", BE DUMBER THAN LINDSAY AND HAVE TO SAY THE WORST LINES EVER SAID IN THE CONFESSIONAL?!

"Mike just tripped Cameron. I better keep an eye on him."

"Duncan is telling me Mike has went to prison. Who knows? Maybe he's not the real Mike."

"Izzy just called Mike Mal just like Duncan did. But she's an ODDBALL. I still trust Mike, 'cause he's smart, and hot".

"I should get myself in danger and nearly die. Sure he made really fake motorboat noises but my prince came to my rescue. I knew almost dying was totally worth it."

"Forget about Duncan and Izzy warning me. Terro cards are the real decider of whether I should trust Mike. Oh... they're warning me too. Pheh. They're just cards, what do they know?"

"Alejandro may have just called Mike Mal, but I'm going to believe my perfect boyfriend that he said "Pal". Mike is a genius."

"Wow, Mike sure was fishy around Alejandro. I better keep an eye on Mike."

"Woah. Mike isn't who he seems. Who knew?!"

It was great when Zoey was separated from Mike in ROTI because she developed into a rebellious bad***, so why does she have to be this stupid idiot again? With dragged out development that's pointless, disregarding of other important plot points in the past, and overall redundancy, it's a big factor to the pointlessness of this entire season. If you're going to have a season with such an important concept, please have... some kind of point to it.

10: Exposition + Condescending Dialogue

Comfort sierra

This really irks me because this is one of the complaints made about the season that I don't think is said enough. If characters are dumbed down, and storylines drag on, then all this means is that the dialogue in this season is vapid. I HATE so much single sentences said my characters. Here's the obvious ones I've already gotten out of the way.

"Maybe Courtney is the greater evil Alejandro was talking about".

"What?! Dirt boy got in the way!"

"He thinks I trust him. Ha. That's his one way ticket to flush town."

"The truth is in the art. It's in the art!"

"Hahahaha, toodles".

"Oh, uh, hey, Duncan. I, uhhh, got lost".

"Sorry, guys. A bear chased me"

"Ew, egg butt."

"Wakey wakey."

"Guess now he'll have to Alejan-row-row-row".

"Eggscellent work, Alejandro".


But some of those lines are purely badly done jokes. Apart from a few aforementioned ones above, there's also plenty of other dumb lines that expect to be taken seriously.

"Season 1, Phobia Factor Challenge. She's terrified of those things".

Sierra... why did you have to remind me that Courtney is afraid of green jelly? For those who don't remember, in one scene in Food Fright, Courtney is eating a pancake, when suddenly, she gets covered in green jelly. It is asked why she's afraid of it, which leads to Sierra randomly yelling out Courtney's fear. Did we really need that? Even for people who are newcomers to the show, it's pretty self-explanatory if someone screams in horror when they are covered in something. A five year old could write smarter than this. This is really nitpicky but this is an early episode that's even one of my favourites of the season, so this one small line is an early warning more than anything else.

  • unison* "If I don't win the million bucks, I hope you do."
  • unison* "And I mean it too."

Courtney, Gwen, you are making me barf out MY OWN OESOPHAGUS. This is such a ridiculously cheesy line that doesn't even sound like it belongs in Total Drama. Not even Katie and Sadie would say something so out of this world.

In addition to horrible dialogue, exposition is a major problem in the season. Instead of us looking at what we see, everything and I mean EVERY SINGLE MOMENT has to be explained tob the audience. You know why this is the least funny season? Other seasons used sight gags sometimes or even short words. All jokes in this season have to be done through really long sentences that take up precious time in an episode. I can't stand seeing "show don't tell" broken and never repaired at all.

What's more damaging is that this change of approach could be done in any season. But why oh why did it have to be in a FREAKING ALL-STAR SEASON?! That's just dumb. I mean you can take into account a load of other problems, whether it be derailment or poor episode structure, but poor dialogue writing is the worst offender.

Well that's it for this part. I apologize for the REALLY long hiatus. We're almost in the home stretch. 2 more parts done and I can never talk about this again.

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