The Sportsman and the Screwball is the sixth episode in Total Drama Rap Battles. It is a rap battle between Lightning and Izzy.
Chris: Last time on Total Drama Rap Battles. Nobody really cared when they heard B and Staci would duke it out. But man! They butt heads! Ultimately, not only can Staci spout lies, but talk trash. B lost everything. He dropped his silent ruse, just to end up losing. Tough times for B huh? Well He joins the peanut gallery now!
Staci: Of course I won. My great great great great great great great great great great great grandfather invented rap battles.
B: (walks to peanut gallery and slumps down in first seat)
Ezekiel: Woah! How did your battle go down?
B: (says nothing)
Duncan: That's tough.
Sadie: Whatever! It's not like anybody cares! (is viciously tearing apart a picture of Katie then yells in anger) GGGAAAAAAHHH!
Chris: Well, we are ready for something a bit more fun. Ladies and gentleman! Facing off against eachother in an all out RAP BATTLE, we give you! Izzy and Lightning. Will the superstar jock take down the insane psycho? Who knows? Frankly, it's anyones game.
Lightning: Can we skip this? We all know how these go. Lightning stays, Sha-loser goes! This girl as crazy and dumb as can be. In the end I'll stand on the winner's platform, you'll see. Well I'm bored and tired, but always full of fight. So give up now if you know what's right. But I'd expect you to make the wrong choice instead, your not exactly right in the head. I'm strong, tough, and have muscles to prove, So I'll say it once and I'll say it again, Step down! you lost, Leave now while things are smooth.
Izzy: So you're Lightning, the tough guy? Is that right! You say your tough? You say your strong but you've been playing yourself completely wrong. I'm Izzy you see! I'm crazy, loopy and funny too. What's that? you can beat me. Don't make me laugh. Listen close Lightning what you hear is true. The only one to go Sha-boom is you.
Lightning: Izzy, sha-crazy, sha-out of it, sha-nutso. Do you really think you that you're better than me? I'm the jock! I'm the star! not some little crazy girl! I'm the winner and you're just the after-dinner. You never sha-win, you're like a kick in the shin, because you hurt, then you go, but with me, I'm the main show! People come to football games just to watch me! You? Well, you're nothing! Now go ahead and take a knee!
Izzy: Take a knee? I don't see one! Where! I only see a slop of meat standing in front of me. You say you're the star? You say your the show? Please Lightning we know how things with you are. If you can't even beat a nerd who's 3 feet high, what makes you think you can even try?
Lightning: (Lightning starts to rage) Izzy! You think you're all that? Like I'm the ball and you're the bat? No! You see, I'm the big one! I'm the strong one! My dad has the rings, I have the talent, what do you have? Nothing! That's right! You're nothing, a sha-loser, the biggest crazy ball ever! You think that I got beat by Cameron? Ha. That was just my warm up!
Izzy: I don't mean to brag or flaunt about *toss toss* But when it comes to thinking, YOU BETTER GET OUT. This brain I have, discovered time travel, multi-para-physics and so much more. When your smarts try to play, they can't even open a door. Comparing you to a bull would be too mean, (sorry bull) Your mind works like an out of date machine. My mind may be screwy and I may be on the run. But having minds is what I got! I only wish you had one!
Lightning: A mind? Really? Who needs one of those? I have football! Sha-sports! The muscles and talent! You say you're smart, sure. Okay. But try to beat me in a game of old fashion football! Sha-bam! Exactly! You cant get me! I'm the alpha-male! I'm the sha-winner already! You lost Izzy! Already! Never had a chance! You gotta have guts to try to come back after that! SHA-BAM!
Izzy: No brawn no strength! Have you met me? I can throw Owen 30 feet, exact length! Football! sure I'll play, But be ready to yield. As soon as the game's over I'll use you to mop the field. You were betrayed by Jo, Cameron tossed you around. I hunted you down as a spider, Ha! more like a hound. Don't feel bad, I was beat by Cameron too, Although I can't deny it was more fun watching Cameron beat up you!
Lightning: GAHHH! Enough! No one disrespects the lightning! You say you can throw Owen 30 feet? How sha-cute! I can throw a football 100 yards! That's right! I'm sha-tough! Sha-cool, sha-epic! You're just a little girl with a big mouth! You're crazy, I can tell, if you think you could beat me! I'm done, sha finished! Now go home and cry, you lost! Im the Sha-winner!
Izzy: It aint over till the Owen sings! You wish to end it here? The end, we're nowhere near. But if you want to tap out early, that's fine with me. Lightning, Listen up , listen close---Explosivo:---I will blow you to bits!---E-Scope: Hope your diaper fits---Brainzilla: You couldn't comprehend if simplified into politics---Izzy: You want to face me. I HAVE AN ARMY. So let's end these rants on positive notes. I'm done, we're finished now to recieve my votes! *breaks 4th wall, looks at people reading* HI YOU GUYS!
Chris: I don't know what to say? That was interesting. At least nobody needs a Drama Machine. We got a bunch of them, just in case. So, has Izzy dazed Lightning and left him speechless? Has Lightning punted Izzy out of this competition? Vote Now!
Who's the Winner? (Lightning potrayed by Tylerbrickfan / Izzy potrayed by TotalDramaFan2.0)
The Athletic Overachiever, Lightning.......or.......The Insane, Izzy