Mystic Mind Bogglers is the seventeenth episode of Total Drama Rap Battles. It is a rap battle between Dawn and Mike.
Chris: Last time on Total Drama Rap Battles, Our two favorite female popular pretty's faced off in a rap battle. Heather was wicked, but so was Lindsay. But by a landslide vote, Heather just didn't have it all in her. Lindsay won. Heather joins the Peanut Gallery now!
Lindsay: I won! YAY! When do we go to the mall?
Heather: (points at Lindsay) She won? Lindsiot won? This is not fair! Not only is it unfair but it's also impossible!
Ezekiel: Geez, calm down eh. (Heather punches Zeke)
Justin: Nobody make any sudden moves around her.
Sadie: Hold me! (leaps into Justin's arms and crushes him)
Courtney: Join the club. I know this game is rigged! (pulls out PDA)
Duncan: Put a sock in it, princess. (Courtney backhands Duncan)
Chris: And now, for another battle. This one will be close. I can taste it. Anyway, give it up for our multiple persona powerhouse and our ethereal and psychic....girl. Dawn and Mike!
Dawn: Before we start I just want to say that sometimes I get a little....mean..So..if I say anything th(cut off by Mike)
Mike: It's fine..I guess. So..ahem. So Dawn, rapping now are we? Not saving animals, or settling your Chi. As for me? My raps are the best! Going against you isn't even a test. Oh. Sorry if I offended you!
Dawn: (gulps. Takes deep breath) Mother Nature can sit this one out as she views the nation. She wouldn't want to lay her eyes on this abomination. You're weird, messed up, not caught in the loops. After Mother Nature made you, she stopped and said "Oops"
Mike: *switches to Vito* Vito: Eh, weird girl, what's up with you? ew, do you shower? You smell like a shoe! Man, you're pale, you got a chip on your nail. I should litter right now, so I can see you flip and flail. Obssessed with nature, that's just too much. Thinking of you makes me throw in my lunch. I have a prediction, just a hunch. I will be winning this, baby! See ya on the flip side!
Dawn: Even as a "roughneck" Is that what you are? Your insults are bland and well...not good. By far! You've been spending too much time with Anne Maria. Take one wiff of that girl and "See-ya"! Your mind is an open book, with a broken gate. I do like earth, at least nature has got it's mind straight.
Mike *switches to svetlana* Svetlana: oui, I see we have a sore loser, but I am svetlana. The winner,the chooser....of winners! I could eat you for dinner! You say you see my aura, but how? You're just a fake, so quit now! I'm the master of my art, I play the part, I could pick you up and throw you like a dart! The ballet master is in your presence! You have no talent, so run, leave, go away. Svetlana shall win today!
Dawn: A fake. You're telling me I'm a fake? For Mother Earth's sake! The real Mike is nothing but a sap! You're not fit to function, you're not fit to rap! I have abilities your bifurcated mind can't even think. You're talents aren't your own. Wash those down the sink. I can see auras and communicate with nature too. Take away your mental illness and tell me what are you?
Mike: *switches to Chester* Kids these days are stubborn and blunt. No way do I waste my time dealing with you, runt. How short are you? About two feet. I might just laugh. Actually, I may be wrong, you're a foot and a half! You can't be as great as I. You'd better make the switch. I wouldn't want to hurt the feelings of a small, pale, witch!
Dawn: Make up your mind! Oh wait, my bad. Who am i talking to? Melvin, Anna? Chad? I have no clue, nor do I care. I don't wish to spend my time with a guy with an issue that's rare. Zoey is, pardon my reality, not as sweet as candy. You could practically get the same from dating a cardboard standee. You didn't, not once, go for the million that's true, not even a fight. It was all about Zoey, How'd that work out for you?
Mike: *switches back to Mike* You don't get to talk about Zoey. She beat you by far! You weren't the big shot. You weren't the star! Me and Zoey are together for a reason. We are both cool and like fights and both ruled the season.
Dawn: (hiding a smile) I'm sorry, what? That's it? That's why you're together? Not surprised, go fly away with Zoey and be with each other forever. You two are obsessed. It's the couple of the era. You two are practically clinging to each other. Am I mistaking you for Sierra? You and Zoey aren't a couple, you only think you are. In the real scheme of things, this relationship won't go very far. (Mike gasps)
Chris: And done!
Dawn: Oh My GOSH! Mike, was I being too mean? I'm sorry.
Mike: Wow..Just wow...
Chris: Enough! I'm talking! Anyway. What a battle! Who won?
Who's the Winner?(Dawn portrayed by TotalDramaFan2.0 / Mike portrayed by Tylerbrickfan and TotalDramafan2.0)
Multiple Personality Mike.......or.......The Moonchild, Dawn