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Vomit

Hey, Ed MacDonald wrote an episode that isn't a complete and utter abortion. It still has its faults, though. Like how Courtney was COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY INSANE.

We start out the episode with Mal (WHOO-DEE-DOO) as he looks for the DVD Alejandro hid. Hey, I spot a gilded Chris. Surprised they still acknowledge that TDA existed. Just seeing Ed MacDonald's name gives me postpartum depression. God, Mal sucks. I like how Zoey just stands there awkwardly as if it's only slightly odd that Mike literally destroyed the spa hotel.

"I thought Mike was back in control, but lately, he's as weird as weird gets!"

Gee, I thought you liked oddballs Zoey hahahaha guess you're a hypocritical shrew as usual hahahaha LOL.

"I just wish I could see inside his head! Not literally, that would be gross!"

Yeah, well it is when you have to spend three minutes in it each episode of this season. Speaking of which, cue the brain scene. How do they even eat in Mike's brain? Mike and Svetlana dealt with Chester for so long I'm surprised they haven't resorted to cannibalism and eaten him. FINALLY, VITO. And he's... playing with a puppet... do I question it or just move on I really cannot process Mal's motive for the life of me how did anyone think this was a good concept. I have no idea what's even going on. A puppet is floating. Okay, Mike broke the puppet. This show is giving me a tumor. And where the hell is that Anne Maria mention?! Thankfully, we exit that painfully messy scene and welcome Gwen back from Boney Island. Why do they go there these days? I don't even think there's an immunity idol left. Do they just go there to chillax? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Gwentney is gross.

"I was just noticing that cutthroat vibe from Zoey. So two-faced."

AMEN, SISTA FRIEND.

"So, you still wanna go all the way to the finale with me?"

Yeah Gwen, all the way.

Gwen is great, but if you ask me, winning is everything!

Oh yeah that’s cool. She kinda broke up with her boyfriend to be butt buddies with you, but it’s not like someone changing a large part of their life for you is important or anything. Pffft.

This is the farthest I’ve ever made it on Total Drama!

Scratch what I said earlier. I’m convinced that the writers just disregard Action’s existence. I have no problem with cutthroat Courtney, but Jesus, this season is really inconsistent on the characters. Courtney was all happy and giddy in Suckers Punched and Regatta and in the past two episodes she’s BORDERLINE PSYCHOTIC. Why did Courtney draw Gwen as a bull?

The only wild card is Mike, but I’m pretty sure I can crush him.

Watch out, he might crush your PDA first. Oh wait, I forgot. Her PDA was introduced Action. Which doesn’t exist. God, Gwentney is repulsive. Scott reminds me of myself.

This is great! Courtney and I are back to being friends!

Gee, I hope nothing ruins that in the very next scene. Mal is grating on me. Oh yeah, nice to see that there's no exact explanation as to where you found that list. And of course, Zoey doesn’t have anything to comment on this. Because it’s soooo much like Mike to make everyone turn on another person. I've noticed that episodes have began making it painfully obvious who's going home in the first five seconds. I'm sure Ed MacDonald is just upset because he doesn't have Cameron there to obsess over. MY GOD COURTNEY, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT IN THE CONFESSIONAL BESIDES HOLDING YOUR HANDS UP. It's oddly common for characters in this show to have unibrows.

"Behold, my sad, skinny interns. I totally forgot to feed them this week."

Wtf how does Chris not go back to jail for starving teenagers yet he does for selling the island to a company that dumps bio hazardous waste. For all we know, the man who ran that company could've been a pretty stand-up up guy who enjoyed a day at the ballpark with his buds as they shared a couple brewskis together. Oh, right. The sundae challenge. Yeah, I totally remember that from Total Drama... Is... Act... Wor... Reve... Uh. Courtney's confessional was humorous, but it would've been better if she changed her God damn position. Uh, when they were cleaning up the island, didn't they notice the fire breathing planet in the forest?

"Save your incredibly bad breath, chart-ney!"

I like you Gwen. Text me sometime if you ever wanna, like, shoot some baskets or something. COURTNEY JESUS CHANGE YOUR POSITION.

"Mike, I have to know, why did you have to expose Courtney to everyone like that? It was just so... mean!"

Well, it could be the fact that he has multiple personality disorder and that one of his alternate personas was in jail, but nah, I'm sure Mike's just constipated.

"When Alejandro made that big goodbye speech, he said there was a greater evil lurking. He also said the truth was in the art. Man, typical Alejandro. Hot and infuriating, right till the end."

NO, MAYBE HE'S JUST SMARTER THAN YOU BECAUSE HE CAN ACTUAL PUT TWO PUZZLE PIECES TOGETHER WHILE YOU SIT THERE AND STARE AT THE SAME TWO PIECES FOR SIX MONTHS.

"Seriously? SERIOUSLY?!"

Okay, I literally adore Scott. And Gwen's cheer.

"You know, you're as fit as me, practically. We should team up." "After what you did to Gwen? Sorry."

When did you two even become friends? When you bonded over dog hair? When you taught her how to breath?

"Hey Scott, seeya later... in the giant toilet!"

Yeah, damn you Scott for being rightfully mad at Courtney. I thought that bear was Molotov but then I realized it wasn't when I remembered that scene earlier. Okay, thank you Ed, for repeating the bunny joke from Moon Madness again. Gwen's pretty.

"Mike is either really brave, really bananas, or really both."

I was liking Gwen until she said bananas. I feel like Gwen is above that fruit. And they certainly won't help Mike with his constipation issues. Zoey then gets stuck on... whatever was in the swamp, I guess.

"Not in a million years, bye!"

Zoey's kinda drowning, but okay. Everyone seems perfectly fine with other people dying on this show. When did a single person care that Ezekiel went apes**t? Or that Dakota has POINTS growing out of her elbows? Great, now I patiently have to wait through commercial break for Zoey to get eaten by alligators.

Unfortunately, Zoey doesn't get devoured, as Scott's yodeling is heard. I was more interested in seeing the bear and alligator fight than anything else, to be honest. We FINALLY get to see the mess hall this season, because everyone just ate on the friggin' deck of their cabins for some reason, and the Drama Machine makes a swell return. I'm just surprised they didn't even attempt to make a single genitals pun at the nuts part. GOD, more Gwentney. Can't they just do some make up spooning or something?

"I still wanna be friends with you too, but to prove that I can trust you, you have to vote for yourself."

DAMN, GWEN. Bringing out the big guns. This isn't a very good commentary episode. I don't know what I'm supposed to talk about. Wonder what Staci's up to. Wouldn't it be cool if Staci started working for the government and got her own show? In fact, that would be a great fanfic. There could be a running gag where every time she tries to call homebase, she accidentally orders a PIZZA. Seriously doe, this is happening.

Anyway, what's going on in the episode? Alright so, Gwen gets her chocolate thunder, and Mal's more flaming than usual. I miss when Scourtney existed an episode ago. Mal and Zoey chat, but really. I was kinda hoping Mal bashed Zoey's skull with that rock. But he threw it at the plant, as it made the chocolate crispy. Because I guess this made Scott and Courtney... slightly inconvenienced? Scott's unhealthy obsession with dirt concerns me.

"Meh."

How I feel about this episode. So since Chris's interns starved to death, everyone is forced to eat their own sundae. But alas, Courtney's sundae is covered in a thick coat of vomit. OKAY, EXPLAIN TO ME HOW 60 POUND ZOEY BEATS DIRT FARMER SCOTT IN AN EAT OFF. Alright, so, Zoey wins. I don't know, was I the only one who laughed hard when Scott offered to eat Courtney's dish? Why do I like him so much? Is it weird if I enjoy the sound of the contestants throwing up? I don't know what to talk about. Uh, kinda playing the elimination music a little early. Then abrupt Courtney goodbye. And I like how Gwen and Scott could literally care less. Gotta say, Chris popping through the picture was one of the funnier jokes in a while.

I know this review was brief, but I just can't find a lot to talk about. It's not a very good episode, and it's not a very bad one. The main problem with this episode is clearly Courtney's broken development. However, I don't think it was as bad as people are making it out to be. I actually liked Courtney's cutthroat attitude in this episode, and I kind of like how Gwen has the upper hand for once, since she's constantly being at blame for the love triangle. I just think it was nice experimenting with giving Gwen a reason to be mad at Courtney for once while Courtney appears to be the desperate one. I'd much prefer this over the two being giddy episodes earlier. Scourtney was badly executed as well, but it's a couple that hasn't really done much the whole season to begin with. Scott was funny as always, and Gwen was pretty good. Like usual, the scenes inside Mike's brain were poor, and Mal and Zoey were meh for the most part, but thankfully, they weren't the sole focus and I only wished for them to die a few times. I enjoyed the challenge, and it was nice exploring the island for once. I don't really think this episode was as terrible as people are making it out to be, but it's not one that I think that greatly of either.

Well, now what?

FINAL RATING: 7

+ Challenge

+ Scott and Gwen

- Bad development for Courtney

- Terrible brain sequence

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