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TDAS Jousting sticks

Welcome to Bigez's Reviews, where I'll be reviewing every episode of All-Stars each week. Welp, after 15 months of waiting, the premiere of Heroes vs. Villains is finally here. I, like most of you, was very hyped for this season. So, let's see how the premiere went.

For one, it starts pretty promising. Chris is shown in jail after being arrested in the finale of last season. This scene isn't as funny or dramatic as it should be, and some of the lines come off a little awkwardly, but it's a good way to return to the series.

But the one thing I was looking the most forward to was the theme song. Finally, I get to hear that catchy opening theme once again.

...

Okay, catchy opening 20 seconds. I'm not sure why they insultingly sidelined the theme song, but it's a little confusing. I guess it isn't terrible, though the song sounded a bit off (guessing it's a new recording). The visuals are still nice, it just doesn't give us a good idea on what role each contestant will be playing this season. Granted, it does a better job than the introduction scene, though.

And yeah, the introduction scene is pretty much the worst part of the episode. Chris announces the season, yadda yadda, and the contestants are shown. First is Mike, which kinda confuses me. Why does he change into his personas? The last season made it clear that he has triggers. I don't know, I guess it was funny enough though.

And then we have Zoey. I'm kinda glad she's back, maybe this season will add something new to her cha-

"Miiiike!'"

Nevermind. Notice how every contestant's introduction has something to do with their character, and so Zoey's is fitting. Her character is literally clinging to Mike for 22 minutes. Next is Lightning, and his was funny too. The next four are pretty rushed, as we get to see Cameron's only line in this episode (Thank God), Sam, with still no explanation why he's in this season, Scott, who's gotten surprisingly funnier in the course of one episode, and Jo, who's basically just typical Jo.

Then the veterans come. Something seemed a bit off here. I don't know, the veterans' lines just didn't do it for me. Courtney's was okay, I guess. And whatta ya know, the love triangle has already begun. After Gwen's called a boyfriend stealer, she had this to say.

"He wasn't her boyfriend at the tiiiiiime!"

... Am I watching the same show or has Gwen just become delusionally stupid? Obviously Duncan and Courtney were dating at the time. I think. Was it ever clarified? I don't know, let's just move on. Here's Duncan.

"Bring it on!"

Eh.

"I haaaate Chriiiiis!"

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

"I'm flyyyyyiiiiing!"

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I don't know, this probably would've been funnier if she had hit something on her way down. Why did she randomly start screaming? Sierra's line got me laughing hard. And then.... Ezekiel's back. Alright, rant time.

Why is it that the writers find this joke funny? It has, and never will be, funny. I can understand if you like using Ezekiel as a gag, but there is NOTHING new or funny about it. If you want to use the joke of having Ezekiel as the butt monkey, fine, but FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO WITH IT. DEVELOP IT. EZEKIEL WAS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER, BUT I CAN'T KEEP DEFENDING HIM IF HE KEEPS GETTING DESECRATED THIS WAY. STOP BRINGING HIM ON THE SHOW. THERE IS NO POINT. IT'S MEAN-SPIRITED. WHAT DO EZEKIEL'S PARENTS THINK OF THIS. I'M SURE THEY DON'T CONDONE THE YOU BLOWING HIM UP AND PRANKING HIM. LEAVE HIM ALONE, ALREADY.

Okay, so everyone washes to shore and Lindsay grabs Heather's face. Huh. I guess this was pretty funny, despite how surreal it was carried out. Yadda, yadda, Courtney complaining, scene from a promo. Nothing enthralling yet. Sam mentioning Dakota was a nice touch. While I don't really approve of her mutation, it's nice to see that someone who was royally screwed over by the show gets a happy ending. COUGH EZEKIEL COUGH.

I like how the McLean Spa Hotel has returned. I was a little annoyed when it was destroyed last season.

"Obviously I'll be on the villains team, and I'll be running it by lunch!"

One of the better lines so far. It's not completely in character for Heather, but I still like it nonetheless.

People were upset about Gwen being on the villains team, but it becomes pretty evident later on why Courtney was deemed a hero over her. I don't get why Courtney is still mad, though. It's literally been two years since World Tour. Get over it, mang. I would've like Heroic Hippos.

"There is something about that robot I do not like."

GEE, I WONDER WHY. I WONDER WHY YOU DON'T LIKE THAT ROBOT. HM.

I like all the references to past challenges. Good to know the show hasn't completely lost its roots. Scott's confessional made me laugh. Why is it that I like Scott so much this season? I hated the guy in Revenge of the Island, yet I'm suddenly cracking up at him this season.

Hey, Mike talked about swimsuits. He finally does something that doesn't have to do with Zoey! I'm just gonna assume that Coderra is official by the way Sierra is talking about Cody. And while I love Sierra, I'd be a little annoyed if she talked about him the whoooole season.

"Watch it, old Heather."

Ehhhhh.

"You watch it, newbie."

I would've laughed harder if Heather called her "new Eva", but newbie is funny in its own way. The Villains' confessionals was probably one of the funniest moments the episode had to offer, just because of the robot. He's literally better than any character TDRI had to offer.

Courtney's conversation with Lindsay... Do I hear... MATURITY? Someone in the love triangle is being.... MATURE.

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The heavens have arrived to give us this blessing of reasonable character development. All praise Alex Ganetakos. But unfortunately, he can't do Gwen's character any good.

"You know how to stop making mistakes?!?! Teach me!!!"

At least Lindsay's still comedic. Glad to see they aren't completely dumbing her down.

"Nobody tells me what to do, goth ball. And don't even try to kiss me."

I like Jo. She's enjoyable.

"Courtney and Duncan were over before we started."

IN WHAT UNIVERSE.

Oh, a Cameron line. Good to know he's still alive. Thankfully, he doesn't have any more dialogue. I like how the show acknowledges how obnoxiously nice Zoey, Cameron, and Mike are. Even Courtney got pissed off.

Not sure how I feel that Fang is back. I don't know, the whole slapstick gag with Scott last season wasn't that funny. I guess he doesn't really annoy me, I just don't particularly think he's needed. Scott has another funny line. Why.

So Lightning and Courtney jump. I know people are going to comment about how out of character it is for Courtney to jump even though she didn't in the second episode of the series, but you know what, there's a walking shark with fingers. I think we'll live.

"How do you push again?"

Ehh, more of the dumbing down. I guess it's funny enough to pass.

I really like the Jo-Lightning interactions. I hope there's a lot of them this season.

"Bright-ning"

Cept that one. I don't know, Jo's pun on words have always been kinda cheesy for me.

Sierra being nice to Gwen kinda threw me off. Didn't she like, hate her in World Tour? Oh well, at least she's not talking about Cody for a split second. And even when she does mention him, it's redeemed when she kicks the crap out of the sharks. Then she sits on Courtney. A lot of good physical humor so far. It's a lot less cartoony than last season was, which I can enjoy.

"Dud-can"

Alright, that one was good. I'm an avid supported of Jocan.

Oh yeah, and why did Gwen push Duncan off the cliff? Because she didn't want her picture taken? I don't know, that threw me off.

Zoey kisses Mike. Mike swoons until he falls off the cliff. Two words: Where's Vito?

Zoey saved Mike from sharks. Zoey... did something... for Mike...

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course, that doesn't change the fact that she has literally done nothing non-Mike related this episode. She even uses the chain Mike gave her to save him.

I like the scene after, just cause my favorite background music track plays. Call me biased, but whatever.

Lindsay's confessional was kind of foreshadowing later on. And I'm surprised she hasn't mentioned Tyler at all. All the other Peter Oldring characters get a mention.

So, Scott makes me laugh, and then the robot falls off a cliff. He's eaten by sharks until he dies a tragic death.... Until Alejandro is introduced. I have to say, it was a pretty epic appearance, but then we get to hear Al's new voice.

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I don't know, I don't mind the voice or anything, but the delivery of the lines was kind of... off. I'd prefer more in tune acting than how well someone can mimic a voice. Alejandro isn't even Spanish anymore! Oh well, it will take some time to get used to.

So, the Heroic Hamsters lose. I like the peanut gallery. It's really something they should've had for the rest of the series. So Gwen apologizes to Courtney by... giving her FLOWERS? And of course, Courtney's allergic to them.

"... Even though I technically didn't do anything wrong..."

OH MY GOD JUST ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG. COURTNEY, THE CRAZY B-I-T-C FROM FOUR SEASONS, HAS AGREED TO PUT IT BEHIND HER. ADMIT YOUR FAULTS. JESUS, WOMAN.

I like the Lightning plotline. It seems like they know what they're doing with the McLean-Brand Chris Head this season. Instead of, you know, just handing it to Scott like they did last season. Oh well, at least he's funny now. Voting seems kind of random this season, but it's a nice touch. And unfortunately, Lindsay's the first one to go. Why Lindsay?? At least had more than two lines. And we end with the Flush of Shame. I'm just assuming they ran out of ideas.

I have to admit, this episode did surpass my expectation. While I didn't care at all for the first few minutes, the middle did seem to bring back that old TD feel, and I'm hoping it continues to be like that throughout the season. Not the best way to open a season, but I'm interested in seeing more.

FINAL RATING: 7.5

+ Enjoyable return of the old contestants

+ Promising plots

+ For the most part, good portrayal of the characters

- Unlikable Gwen

- Some lines that don't work

- Bad elimination

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