Honestly, this episode is a real slap in the face for me. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either. I was more excited to see it when it was just the promos. Kinda like when I want to see a movie, except you had to pay for it.
Anyway, this episode is called You Regatta Be Kidding Me (The title is the best pun of the episode) and it starts with Gwen talking about the dream she just had of her riding on a unicorn on clouds that were marshmallows. Wouldn't that be a nightmare for Gwen? What happened to the sourpuss goth girl we met in season 1? So Courtney comes up and talks to her, hoping they make it to the final 2 together and they both in unison say that if they don't win the million bucks, they hope the other does. "And I mean it, too!" Scott is trying to hear this conversation with a glass and Cameron is happy that Sierra is gone. "I've started sleeping with one eye open and now I can't blink it! SEE!" You just had both your eyes closed in the last scene!
Duncan is trying to prove he's still a bad boy by spraying graffeti which turns out to be a bunny with cross bones while the music from the boat scene of the veterens in the first episode of season 4 plays. Then he tries to drive Chef's jeep into the ocean, but end up fixing it. Duncan, stop trying so hard! The more he tries to prove it, the more it's going to backfire!
Chris annoucnes that the teams are being merged. Why did everyone gasp? I thought they were expecting this to happen in the last episode. Alejandro is already back from exile and reveals that he didn't even get a scratch from charming a bear and gopher. I'm glad he still uses his 'abilitiy to charm the pants off most species'. "Also I have a special way with animals." *romantic sigh* What? He's good. Anyway, while Chris is on the phone with his stylist over his socks not matching his shirt because that's so important and everyone can tell that he's wearing socks, Zoey, Cameron, and Mike (as Mal) team up for Friendship Finale 2.0. I'm cool with friendships and all, but seriously, a Friendship Finale is laaaaaame. Besides the only one out of the three that I can see making it to the finale is Mike. Cameron is a human target and Zoey is probably gonna kill herself trying to find out if Mike is really himself because she WON'T TALK TO HIM! But I must say, I loved how she actually made terot cards!
We get more of the side story of Mike in his head where these random question marks fly at him and he cuts loose from the boulder he's chained to. He eventually finds Chester who is....selling skateboards? WHO'S GONNA BUY SKATEBOARDS IN HIS HEAD? Spetlana is so skilled, she doesn't need one, Manitoba uses his survival skills, and Vito would probably rather ride a motorcycle! So after Mike sets Chester free, they decide to head off to the evil tower which was one of the terot cards Zoey had. Maybe terot cards are actually useful. I should get a deck. Oh wait, she made those up...but how did she....whatever. "This is gonna probably end badly."
So the challenge is a regatta around the island. "A rewhata?" *facepalm* How have you never heard of the term regatta, Duncan? And Chris is apparently classy now. It's also kinda sad how this is based off of Up A Creek. It's barely anything like it! Duncan tries to make an alliance with Courtney and Gwen. Uh, your two exes. Not cool, bro. "Poor Duncan. So Sad. HAHAHAHAHAHA" Yeah, the only thing sadder is your confession about it!
At the dock, Alejandro takes a speed boat, Courtney and Gwen take another, and Mal destroys everything else except a raft and the Boat of Losers which he takes for himself. Why does he always break things? He's not a really good villain so far. Zoey, Cameron, Scott and Duncan end up with the raft. Alejandro motor dies and tries to charm it to work sorta. "Come now, beautiful engine. Start for Alejandro." I bet he'd say something like that very similar to Heather. I miss Heather. So Chef tries to kill some of the contestants by throwing coconuts at them. I was kinda hoping for a Mr. Coconut cameo, but someone *cough Ed MacDonald cough* probably thought that wouldn't be a good idea or that anyone remembers him. Courtney almost dies, but Gwen saves her. "Your hair is fantastic!" "No yours is. What's your secret?" "I double condition" OH SNAP, GWEN DOUBLE CONDITIONS! But seriously, I'm glad Gwen and Courtney are friends again, but now they're level Katie and Sadie creepy, with the exception that you can EXPECT those two to be like that. Didn't Courtney want Gwen to die in a pit like three episodes ago? They shouldn't be this friendly THIS FAST! "This is gonna probably end badly."
Chef decides to go all Tom and Jerry on the cast by blowing them up with Dynamite which instead just breaks Gwen and Courtney's motor. Shouldn't they have blown up? That was a stick of dynamite!
Alejandro's motor starts to work again, and to get the raft going, they turn Scott into shark bait. Isn't Fang mutant? Couldn't he just jump on the raft or break free of the rope if he wanted to? Chef drops another stick of dynamite on the raft, but Duncan gets it before it goes out. As they're passing Playa Des Losers, Duncan jumps off the raft with the dynamite to the area. NO! DON'T BLOW UP PLAYA DES LOSERS! Can't you just feed Scott to Fang instead? I like Scott now, but Playa Des Losers man! NOT COOL!
Zoey wants to make sure it's really Mike they're catching up to, so what does she do? SHE TAKES A STICK AND JUMPS INTO PIRANHA INFESTED WATER! Genius, Zoey! And yes, I'm being sarcastic! JUST TALK TO HIM! DON'T POSSIBLY KILL YOURSELF OVER SOMEONE YOU COULD JUST TALK TO ABOUT IT! HOW PATHETIC CAN A PERSON GET! Of course, this actually breaks Mike free until Mal gets in control agaim, but decides to save her or else it'll look suspicious. "So romantic." "How gullible is this girl?" Oh if only she could Get a Clue.
Alejandro is about to cross the finish line when the motor dies again. It shouldn't have worked again in the first place! And Scott almost gets eaten by Fang again, when he comes back on the raft. "Guess he wanted a meal, not a snack." Okay, I'll admit that was actually pretty funny, but still, I laughed on the inside.
Gwen and Courtney take note of Alejandro's motor being dead. "Guess he'll have to Alejand-row-row-row his boat!" Yeah, Scott's was funnier. They're about the cross the finish line when, Alejandro uses his head, or should I say nose when he gets out of the boat and points his nose across the finish line. He so deserved that win. Chris ruins Scott's comment. It really wasn't that funny...just accurate.
Duncan blows up Playa Des Losers successfully. "My cottage!" "You call that a cottage? IT WAS A MANSION!" Not helping, Courtney.
So Alejandro wins immunity, a night at the hotel, and can bring someone with him. He turns everyone down, until Mal talks to him about forming an alliance to which he agrees. This should be interesting. Mal and Al. Al and Mal. Sad how that's funnier than the puns in this episode.
I had no clue who was going home tonight, but during the commercial I bet on Cameron. He could've gotten Scott killed, the raft was in last place (excluding Duncan), and he's really not going to make it far anyway. I liked him last season because he was an underdog with potential to break out of his bubble. I was glad that he won instead of Lightning with his big ego (although, I do like Lightning too...) But now, Cameron is just kinda plain.
It is revealed at the ceremony that Duncan is going to jail, NOT juvie, JAIL, for blowing up Playa Des Losers. I will not miss Duncan. He's been a pain this season, maybe some time in a 'big boy jail' will help him be better again. OH AND NO ONE IS GOING TO BONEY ISLAND THIS WEEK!!! FINALLY! But they're still having an elimination. So Cameron is going home....oh wait he's not since Chris decided that Duncan is gone he can stay. It is revealed that Mal messed with the votes, while whistling his tune. WHY! Cameron is becoming so useless! I thank Mal for trying.
Overall, this episode wasn't terrible. There was a good elimination twist, interesting alliance that formed, but terrible puns and character development...except for Mal. The best in this episode had to be Mal. He actually tried to get rid of someone without breaking anything! Maybe he's not that bad of a villain afterall. The worst was Zoey. YOU DON'T JUMP IN WATER WITH HUNGRY PIRANHA'S TO SEE IF YOUR BOYFRIEND WILL SAVE YOU! YOU JUST DON'T!
So, 6.5/10. Looking forward to the 100th episode next week!